Gas Birds and Signs

Hey all, update coming in the next days. I have a lot to say but I want to make my announcement official before I write this post. And I'm exhausted this month is insane! ta ta for now

OK! Sorry for the Wednesday update but I've been very very busy. Right now I'm writing this from Minneapolis where I can't sleep cuz I napped on the plane and finally have a chance to do so. I'm in Minneapolis because I'm at the White Privilege Conference. If you don't know what White Privilege is, well that's probably because you're white. A joke! Sorta. It's complicated to explain and its not my focus for tonight, but know that its a social justice conference that I hope does not turn into a white guilt conference.

Anyway! I have two stories to tell you about my misadventures this past weekend. First, though I have an update on Tenshi and Spotty Sister. For those of you who may not have heard, their father passed away this past week. He'd been battling cancer for the last few years, but his death was still unexpected and very sudden. It has been a difficult shock for both twins, their older, sister and mother, as well as their entire family. I've been over to her house pretty much every night the past week, trying to help as much as I can but the hardest thing is that there really isn't anything anyone can do. It just sucks.

That said, these women are some of the strongest people I know and I'm amazed at their perseverance, their positive attitude and their energy. In the Armenian culture as in many others, when someone dies, the entire family comes to visit the deceased's family. So the twins' home was like grand central station the past week, which is just draining. Try hosting a party every day for a week when you are emotionally exhausted, drained, and grieving. Yet these women did! It has been a privilege to be let into their family and help where I can, even if on the day of the funeral, most of the relatives thought I was the waiter. These things do happen :)

It is important to note that while the twins do appreciate sympathy, support, and thoughts and prayers, they also were getting an influx of messages on facebook, so that is probably not the best way to send your regards, like you do for peoples birthdays. If you haven't already, and you know them, maybe give them a call or text or a personal email or message. They appreciate the support and trust me, you're going to want to say "is there anything I can do." It's natural, its genuine, but its also silly. There's not a lot that can be done, just support and love.

On to happier things, better known as stupid moments with James. I have a series of them that occurred this past week. Then I will tell you about my college decision, I promise.

Stupid moment number 1: Tenshi told me to come to her house in all black. This was the first time I was going to meet most of her extended family. At a funeral. Yea, not good timing. As the only non-Armenian I was destined to stand out. However... I show up in dark blue jeans which were nice, a black tshirt and an American apparel track jacket. And flipflops. Yea, I didn't realize I was going to meet the family either. So I walked in and saw 15 people sitting around the room, silent, somber, and staring at me. I tried to smile, which was also foolish. I walked to the only empty seat, past all the other people, and sat there trying not to look white. Great first impression.

Stupid moment number 2: The day of the funeral, after everyone had left, I got up to go get something and accidentally knocked over the hooka sitting on a little table in the back room. I caught the hooka coals included which I promply dropped, and set it straight. But there was ash everywhere and one of the coals was slowly burning the area rug. So in other words, I burned their house on the day of a the funeral. Fail.

Finally we come to the gas and birds story. Here's the context:

So in the midst of this insane month that includes 3 twelve hour days at work, (last week 4! because it was admit day so I had to work until midnight) I went on a retreat. I volunteer at my church's Confirmation program, which works with HS freshmen and sophomores. We take them on a retreat. This time we went up north a bit to a more mountainous area to really get away. Due to my admit day responsibilities, I was unable to come until the next afternoon. The drive was going to be able 2 hours and I left with half a tank of gas, planning on fully filling up at the best of the mountain in the large, nearby city that houses on of our sister universities. So I'm driving and driving and right before the base of the hill where I'm going to stop and change highways, my friend Jabber Talky calls. If you recall, Jabber Talky likes to talk so usually I screen his calls unless I had time to do so. But I was driving alone so I figured I'd answer. So we're talking and talking- well he's talking and talking and I'm driving and driving and I notice that most cars had pulled off to the right but I didn't see any signs for the road I was looking for. I had a suspicion I should turn around but I figured I go a little further and see if I was wrong. If not, I'd turn around. So I keep going and notice my low fuel light is on. I go crap I need gas. So I see a sign that says the next town is a few miles ahead so I figure I'll go there and fill up. If the road I was looking for isnt there that's fine I'll just turn around. So I get to the town. Population: 100. Number of Gas stations: 0. I keep going seeing there's another town shortly further (closer than going back) and figure if this town didnt have gas the next one must. No gas. Now I'm worried, I've gone a long way and still no gas. (Jabber Talky is still going btw). I'm looking for those blue signs that say next stop fuel. Nothing. In fact that only thing I was seeing was no services no services. I cut the call short and pull over at a rest stop. I ask the half-deaf attendent whom I'm pretty sure just read my lips where the nearest gas was. 10 miles further. I did not have enough gas for 10 miles...

Long story short: I'm stuck at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere with no gas. I thought about walking the ten miles, but naturally the road curves into a tunnel with cliffs all around me. Its about 30 miles to go back. I decide to try to hitchhike. I look for people who I don't feel threatened by but also wouldn't feel threatened by me. Men traveling in groups. No. Woman traveling alone. No. Families. No. Older couples. Maybe... yes! Let's ask them. I could take them if they tried to jump me but there is two of them so they shouldn't be afraid of me right... This is how I was thinking. I sum of the courage (I hate asking for help) and ask a couple. They look at me like I'm crazy and say no. I lose my nerve and just sit there wishing someone I knew would magically stop at this rest stop.

Ultimately my retreat leader came to get me. We did the back and forth filling a gas can and getting me to the station. Then took a short cut through a strange town. There were windmills, on every third building. A statue of a viking, but like a comical viking out of How to Train Your Dragon style. And a random ostrich farm! I felt like I traveled through Africa and Amsterdam at the same time.

Oh and while I was waiting for my leader. The car next to me was also out of gas. AAA came and gave them 1 of the 2 gallons they carry on the car. Before I could ask to buy the second gallon, the tow truck driver said, oh, I'll just give you the second and you can pay me by filling it up. I watched my one chance at an easy solution drain away before my eyes. Fail.

OK last story, the one you've all been waiting for: my grad school decision. I need you to know that I've been torn between the private local rival school and Ohio State. For ease of sharing, they were equal choices each with strengths and weakness. Hence my hard hard hard decision. I will say to you, here and now that I have chosen Ohio State, after weeks of contemplation and one powerful moment at the retreat:

Normally Saturday night is the powerful retreat moment. We had adoration, which has always given me peace and clarity and I was hoping it would be there I made my decision. Instead, it was me fighting with God saying here no here no here! And ended with me frustrated and still unsure of where to go. The next morning, I woke the teens up and then said, hey I have an hour to kill, let's go walking up this back trail and see if I can find any deer or other wild life. I love seeing animals in the wild. So I start walking.

The path, CONVENIENTLY crosses the running creek as I go, so I come to the creek, step on a few stones and cross it. Naturally the path isn't straight but winds around the mountain. Winds right back to the creek too. So I have to cross it again. I have good balance, but I managed to slip and dunk my whole foot into the stupid creek. I'm going idiot now you're going to get blisters or athletes foot or leeches or something. I almost went back. I really did. But I felt compelled to keep walking. Like I had to clear my head and reach the end of the path. And see some animals dammit. So I kept going. Now all this time I kept saying I need a sign God give me a sign. Where should I go. Instead I had to cross the river yes its a river now! a third time, which required some trailblazing, but worked out.

So I'm walking (with a slight squishing sound) and reach a fork in the road. I decide to go right and wander up the hill a bit and see a sign: Private Property, No Trespassing. Ok fine I'll go the other way. I stopped for a second and went, wait? was that the sign I was looking for? No trespassing private property? Should I then not go the the rival private school but the public Ohio State? Then I was like NO! That's silly. Of course there are private property signs up in the mountains. People have cabins and whatnot. I keep going.

Now I'd wandered up for a while. I started saying OK just a little further cuz you have to go back to the teens. I was already well past my initial estimated return time. But I felt compelled to keep walking. Finally, I got to this clearing where I said OK this is where I stop. There was a great view of the cliffs ahead and the valley below. It was really pretty. I took out my phone and started taking pictures. As I meandered around the clearing, I noticed an old sign half under a tree. I though maybe it was a historical battle marker or something so I walked over to it. I kid you not, the first word I read on this old rusty sign was Ohio, clear as can be. All the other words were more rusted but I think it was like a pipeline marker or something. But it said Ohio. And we are definitely FAR from Ohio here. It was my sign. I knew it even though it terrified me to admit it and finally make a decision. As if to further confirm that God was in control here, I turned and saw a little tiny chipmunk, one of the few "common" animals I have never ever seen in the wild. Yea, I'm going to Ohio State.

OK that's enough writing and reading for one night. I took a picture of the sign if you want to see it. I officially accepted today, so things are going to start moving. I leave at the end of August. My staff and friends are sad to see me go, but its only for two years. Then I come back. I am most sad that it means Tenshi and I are going to be far apart. So we going to have to make these next few months really awesome! The weight of the decision hasn't fully set in, but I am sure its the one I need to make, even though I keep looking for excuses to change my mind. Ah well, Buckeyes it is!

Until then, back to Minneapolis! Goodnight!

-JTY

Reading: WPC (White Privilege Conference) Articles

Listening to: Muse- helped me drown out the spoiled child, bad mother, and screaming newborn on the plane today and actually nap. Ahh napping to rock music :)

Playing: Lead and Gold but I think I'm going back to Borderlands cuz we have new DLC.