Speaking in the affirmative

I'm getting to be decent at this every other week blogging. I was worried I'd forget more.

 A few random updates about random people:

Naysayer P Squirrel is in Europe right now with Whedon Watchedit. I'm jealous but also excited for them, its Whedon's first trip! About this time last year I was in Rome with Naysayer, so its one, trippy that it's been a whole year and two nice to remember good times. I'm sure he'll have good stories for us when he gets back.

Spam Boa just went on a seven day hunting trip. While all the deer laughed and him and his dad from the safety of private property, he said it was a great trip. I miss camping and the peace and quiet of the outdoors. October camping is a bit too cold for what I want, but there is something peaceful and quite religiously powerful about an early morning. Last week, when I was taking Cali Foodie's friend from college back to the airport, I got a good reminder of early mornings. I also remembered that I like sleep and really miss it.

El Bandito was in town. But didn't tell me until Sunday before he left, which was also Cali Foodies birthday. Sorry buddy, no hang out this time.

Red Button has learned the challenges of students attending her 1:1s... try ToOs it might work.

Pokeboss has learned the challenge of juggling. Stressful I'm sure but you're better at it than you think.

Dandy Woo brought her mom and sister to town. It was great visiting them and not just because her mom bought us ice cream! It's cool to meet families and see how alike they are and the subtle differences.

Cardmaster Cider got a job, thereby winning the "race" to have gainful employment after graduation! She cheated and applied to a job at OSU that she was totally qualified to do and deserved and could start in January. So major congrats to her!

Dungeon Daddy is well and truly a teacher now at the college level. Mother Mapster at the high school level. And minds were molded.

My parents continue to have more entertaining Halloweens than I do. Well done Mom and Dad, or should I say caesar?

Brock is well and truly engrossed in the election season. He'll emerge next week.

Clark just told me Wreck It Ralph is a must see. Like it wasn't already. But I'm stoked. Also congrats to his Giants, I'm not ashamed to admit I was happy they won (sorry Red Button). Maybe now Mike Trout will win MVP like he should. But seriously great Series and now begin the dark days: no baseball, only football. Sigh. Also, Fantasy Football is stupid. And yes, that's how I really feel. The things I do for people... :)

Anyway, a few updates for me:

First, I went to a corn maze. It was pretty cool wandering through the tall corn. Easy to get a little disoriented but I have a decent sense of direction and we made it out all right. We may have wandered out the child's exit, but we entered the adult way dammit. There was also a corn cannon (a cannon that shoots corn, much like a potato launcher) and a greased pole. Cali was trying to goad me into climbing it, but I also realized being covered in grease on a long drive home wasn't ideal.

We also went to a pumpkin festival in the town of Circleville. This was a really awesome town that looked right out of a halloween movie like Hocus Pocus or something (which I finally got Cali to watch--she was scared by it as a kid). It was pouring rain and freezing cold, so we only stayed for an hour. It reminded my of church carnivals back home, only bigger and with better food (steak on a stick!) If it was warmer, I think I would have gone broke and fat. Fortunately, I ended up just with a nice corn on the cob and a great pumpkin. It was a cool festival, just poor weather. Typical Ohio. We actually carved that pumpkin BTW. Jack Skellington, and not half bad I might add. I was worried when Cali told me she was a terrible drawer, which I don't know what that makes me. But with some clutch sharpie-ing, I made it work.

Hmm now I want to watch Nightmare Before Christmas...

On to the topic at hand: We've been talking a lot about affirmative action in class, especially because of the Fisher case that the Supreme Court heard last week. If you don't know, well consider this a nod to look into important upcoming supreme court cases. You have until the end of June (when the Court usually makes its decisions) to look this up or it will become a stern nod. Anyway, I'd like to share my evolving thoughts on affirmative action.

The idea often gets explained as considering race in applications to college. This is usually interpreted as given preference for equally qualified candidates to minority students. This is designed to address historic concerns that underprivileged individuals do not have access to higher education and there are more forces preventing them from college acceptance, like de facto segregation (minorities often live in poorer areas and thus have worse education opportunities). Of course, opponents then say that whites are unfairly held back. But whites have so many privileges in their favor already, this argument is a little unfair because if there is one policy in favor of minority students there are many more than blatantly or subtly favor whites, such as allocation of education funds in school districts (which are usually done by white politicians and often result in "giving up" on certain areas, usually the poor and thus more minority serving locations). This does not blatantly target minority students, but it does affect them by the nature of the country. Affirmative action tries to undo some of that.

There's some negatives to Aff. action though. One, from minority students, there is the climate that they were just chosen for the school for their race and not their ability, which can be isolating and problematic to their psyche and academic performance. Two, and perhaps the biggest concern, is aren't universities based on merit for admittance? So if race affects admittance, does not that imply certain races have more merit than others. Diversity in school is research and court proven to be a positive in schools. But students still need to get into the school. Where is the line when race kicks in? How do you determine when students are equal and when not? Why race? Why not school district, or a different minority group, or SES, or something else? Because there's more historic systemic rules against race, true, but there is still an arbitrary factor to it. And there's the added complexity as someone from CA where the majority population is of some Asian descent, who historically do better on the merit level but still have a lot of the same historic pressures and hardships. But if we don't help those groups that aren't as well represented in college, won't that continue the oppression because there won't be people in power who consider those populations (don't try to tell me there are a lot of white politicians that wake up and thing about the minorities first, especially when its not an election year, I'm not saying they think about the whites first, but they do think about money and support and those people are usually white). But is it the university's job to override the failings of a k-12 system to prepare students for college? Is college a right? I think, in this day and age, yes, because try asking anyone without a degree how hard it is to get a career job. Can't we just consider personal hardship? That's what the UC system does, because prop 209 in CA prevents affirmative action use. I think  this is a good start but there still a low minority population in several UCs.

So where do I stand? I think merit definitely comes first, especially at the highly competitive universities. Everyone has a right to a bachelors but which school bestows it is still up in the air I think, and that's part of the reason the community college system is so popular. I think universities should consider the school system a student comes from. A student from a poorer district with a 3.5 GPA should get some extra consideration than a person from a wealthy school district with the same GPA. And not just high school, but the districts of k-12 also. I know this won't necessarily address the needs but it can help identify districts that need help. A fault of course then is that may reward bad districts, but an incentivizing system can be developed to address that. Its not perfect but I'm trying to find a balance that still makes merit the focus while increasing diversity. Add the holistic approach and maybe that will strike a good balance.

I must say: I'm still figured out affirmative action. In the social justice circles, it's almost a given that its a good thing. But I still very much hesitate, which kind of makes me feel the bad guy and the privileged white person who doesn't get it. As a multiracial person, I get that I was told to put my race as hispanic in case I qualified for extra scholarships and to stay competitive in any way possible. That's the country we live in and I am also convinced if we take away that competition completely we will not progress but stagnate. So yeah, open to more perspectives and this is what our discussions in diversity class look like every week. Heavy huh?

To end on a light note: I got Cali Foodie to watch Ghostbusters, I wanted to give a bunch of fun Bill Murray quotes but they are all context heavy. Instead, I'm going to list my favorite Halloween related movies. Happy Halloween:

1. Nightmare Before Christmas
2. Halloween Tree
3. Hocus Pocus
4. Sleepy Hollow (cartoon)
5. Casper

(Also for consideration: Zombieland, Ghostbusters, Edward Scissorhands, Addams family, Young Frankenstein, Beatlejuice, Sweeney Todd, and It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown).

OK have a scary safe week!

-JTY

Listening to: Billie Jean- Michael Jackson, though I guess I should shift to Thriller though...

Reading: Slaughterhouse-5 I hope...

Playing: League in bits a pieces to spend time with Dungeon Daddy, Drew York and Spam Boa

Playlist Post 1

For this particular post, I'm trying something different. I'm running a playlist on Spotify, my new favorite way to get music on my laptop since I don't want to transfer my gigs of music from my desktop to this thing. As the songs come up, they shall be the theme for the parts of my post.

Mad World- Gary Jules

We've been talking in our classes a lot about diversity issues. As a higher education professional, I have to be adept in facilitating rather heavy conversations about race, gender, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, religion, etc. and how all of those things interact. I love this part of the job but its very intimidating. With our cohort in particular, we have trouble creating a safe space. If we can't even share with each other, how can we share with students and ask students to do the same thing. This week things changed. Why? I'm not sure but we seemed much more open in class on Tuesday, talking about more personal issues in an effort to share perspectives. THEN someone in our classroom decided to come out of the closet for the first time in that setting. WHAT? I guess it really was a safe space. Everyone seemed to be more willing to share and to listen and for the first time the mad world that was our class lacked the tension that has followed those conversations in the past.

Madness- Muse

Carrying on with the theme, Muse takes me to my counseling class the next day, where our instructor, who is both an experienced psychologist and VP of Student Affairs at OSU, asked all of us to talk about a time when we were the "other" and talk about what that felt like. People talked about everything from blatant homophobia to being in a foreign country to family isolation to growing up poor. These very touching, very open stories I think really built on the previous days openness, and by being forced to share, forced to take a step toward comfort with each other, was really good for us. There is solidarity in hearing about the madness of other people's lives. Sure not everyone shared completely, or shared deep secrets necessarily, but it was still very much a place where we spent time to actually LEARN about each other, that thing we always ask students to do. Imagine that. Professionals doing the work they are going to teach others to do to. Go us. Poignant line from the discussion: I don't know what it's like to be a black man, but I do know what it means to be the "other".

Brand New Colony- Postal Service

Shifting gears, I had a conversation with my dad about politics last night. I'm comfortable saying I'm an independent vote who waits a long time before deciding who to vote for. I'm conservative on some issues, liberal on others, and love to get everyones perspectives. My dad is pretty strongly conservative and I'm so happy to have him in my life. First, I very much respect his perspectives and trust his viewpoints. He sees things past the rhetoric on my issues. He also knows what he wants from his government, his country, and what he has to do with his own life to contribute to those things. And he's a different demographic from me, meaning he picks up on issues that are not things I pay much attention to. I work on a college campus and a big university in a swing state. Obama has come to visit our campus three times in the last 4 months. I asked the question on Tuesday when he was here, Is anyone going to that rally not already going to vote for him? I am surrounded by one perspective for the most part and I don't like that. Unlike Cheeky Monkey, Drew Jules York, and even my mom, I'm actually willing to engage my dad in political conversation. Sometimes I think they take the, "I don't like conflict I don't want to hear it" because my dad is wonderfully passionate about a lot of this stuff. I love it and besides, aren't I going into a field where I need to have civil discourse about hard issues. I mentioned way back in the London/Ireland travel blog that I see my role in my family as one of translator. That comes from my patience, willingness to listen, and ability to talk in a relatable way to both my parents and my siblings. I'm happy to play this role, just as we all have our roles in family, friendship work and play. So going back to politics, I will continue to watch the debates both on TV and in person and make my voting decision to see how our country shifts to become something brand new.

Some Nights- Fun.

What do I stand for though? I ask myself this in talks of voting, politics, diversity, and counseling. This has been an ongoing question throughout my educational career. I'm still not sure what I stand for, but I do have some nice road maps. Religion, experience, family, friends, education, failures, successes, and just the world we live in and how I react to it. One big revelation I had this week was what my job is going to be. I am a peddler of hope. I sell hope to students. As a career counselor, I pitch the hope that you are ready for that interview, ready to get the job in the future. As an assistant resident director, I sold the hope that this place you lived was home, and your concerns would be heard. In diversity discussions, we are working toward the hope that those moments when we are isolated, hated, hurt will soon be gone. That's the "It Gets Better" campaign. That's what both politicians are running under: the hope that the US will be better in the future. Hope has been central tenant for me. In my religion, the three cardinal virtues are "Faith Hope and Love". I resonate with all three but hope has a special place for me. Frenchie's Choice said in our trip last week that I now understand why you are so optimistic. I take the hope that when people fight and disagree, there is the hope for growth and change from those conversations. I would summarize the American dream as one of hope, hope that you can make your life better. Even as I hear more and more how other countries do things so much better, like China cleaning the streets after a flood in one day when we couldn't handle Katrina... still. But we have the hope in so much more than the Chinese students do. There's a reason many students HOPE they can come to this country, stay in this country. Because America is the land of hope. Not a guarantee of fruition, but one of hope. And I like that.

Finally Found You- Enrique Iglesias

One thing I dare to hope for recently was a new person in my life. As most know, I don't talk about my relationships much, but I would like update you readers who may not have heard but I have started seeing someone again. The year of single life has been fine but you never know when God throws you someone great into your life. Cali Foodie has been that great person, someone I've had the pleasure of being great friends with first, only to find we had way more in common than we thought, despite apparent stark differences (ie she hates all my pun jokes, which have already earned me several PUNches). So if you want the full story, feel free to ask, but the summarized version is: I chased and she let me catch her. Which of course prompted Drew Jules York to ask, "How does it feel to have a relationship based entirely on pity?" Well, sir, it feels just fine. Jerk. :)

50 Ways to Say Goodbye- Train

Well friends, that's the end of the first every Playlist Post. I'm going to head out and enjoy this great weekend. Cali and I are heading to a corn maze, cuz when are two Californians going to get that opportunity again? Best wishes to all!

-JTY

Listening to: Survival- Muse, cuz I am trying to determine if I like this new album and these are two of the songs that I like more than most. After this, I'm going to listen to Adele's Skyfall cuz I really liked that one too but it's not on Spotify yet.

Reading: Baseball articles, cuz I love baseball playoffs!

Playing: Finally got a game of League in with Dungeon Daddy, Drew, and Spam Boa. Sorry, I've been a little preoccupied lately :D

So what part of the mitten are we on?

I am spending most of this weekend in Michigan. It's a new state for me to check off the list and so far has been quite a good experience (I am starting this blog on Friday night).

Frenchie's Choice and I were paired for our diversity class to do a project on a perspective that one of us has which the other doesn't. It could be anything, but since Frenchie and I actually have a lot of identities in common we opted to focus a bit on gender. Frenchie spent time prior to grad school volunteering at a small community college in rural Michigan, doing service learning initiatives in collaboration with a domestic violence homeless shelter. This would give me a great insight to many of Frenchie's perceptions and views, and an inside look at a DV shelter who mostly serves women since the vast majority of adults domestically abused are women. In return, I'm taking her to a Cleveland Indians game, because she hates baseball and I love it. Seems like a balanced trade? Well, hopefully the way I spin the baseball game, she will learn a bit more about me. But so far, I've definitely learned a lot, and since I only have a 5 minute presentation, I figure I can reflect on it more here in the blog.

First, driving up through Ohio and Michigan was a magical experience due to the fact that last week someone flipped a switch and turned on Fall. The trees were vibrant colors, some still bright green, some bright red, some bright yellow, bright orange, even bright purple. It was blasts of color flashing along the wooded highway. Frenchie and I also talked for almost six hours straight, which made time fly fast. Since while we are friends we haven't had much hangout time, it was a good catch up. It was also nice to hear each other's perspectives on things like diversity class, cohort issues, higher education, careers, love life, family life, religion, politics, food, travel, futures, past experiences, and more. Even on three hours of sleep, I was having too much fun to get too sleepy. It was good times.

Arriving at the community college, the first thing we did was interrupt a meeting between the president of the college and the associate dean, who welcomed us, told us to sit, and continued their very open and honest strategic planning meeting in front of us. I had two quarters of org theory and admin classes summed up in 10 minutes of real world conversation. It was wonderful! The associate dean was Frenchie's former boss and a great guy. We had fun shooting the breeze and the two caught up before we headed down Frenchie's old commute of about 40 miles one way to the domestic violence shelter.

At the DV shelter, I was a little intimidated at first when they just straight up asked me what do I know about domestic violence and what does it mean to me. I sputtered through a very honest answer that I had not really thought hard about the idea of domestic violence, acknowledging that as a male, I knew statistics and intellectually that this was bad, but did not have a strong connection to it especially since I didn't know anyone who dealt with it. They kindly corrected me saying nobody had admitted to me that I knew someone, but I very likely did since one in four women experiences it. Also, upon further reflection, I'm a complete jerk for forgetting about my cousin's terrible terrible experiences with it, which confirmed my self assessment that DV does not impact me, so I am more removed from it than I should be. That is part of my privilege.

They went on to hand me some really awesome educational materials and then just sit and chat with me and Frenchie. We talked about how common the occurrences are, how there are way more factors at play then just a jerk of a man in their life. How poverty, location, upbringing, circumstance, children, employment, alcohol, drugs, and health care are all highly influencing factors, especially at their shelter, which was designed to address people without a home. They talked about this concept of homelessness, and how often getting the crap beaten out of you every day or week was a price worth paying to keep a roof over your head, in many of the victim's minds. We talked about how common excuses like I just lose control when I've been drinking, or I have anger problems, are bs since the person doesn't just start wailing on anybody when drunk or upset, just their women and/or kids. We talked about how easy it is to say, "there's no way that actually happened" because the stories are so horrific or unique that they must be made up, and how questioning a woman's credibility just perpetuates the power exerted on her. We talked about how kids will mimic their fathers and be abuse to their mothers. We talked about the different types of abuse, like verbal, physical, psychological, and sexual. And we talked about power, the root of all domestic violence. How it is men (usually) exerting their power over women in some form or fashion. How when their lives are out of control, the women are something that can control. How why would a man stop abusing a women when he gets essentially a free slave that he just has to beat every once in a while and she will stay in place. How women don't feel like they have the power to leave and how DV shelters help try to empower women to tell their own stories, be heroines in their own lives, to give them back that power.  It was very enlightening, eye opening, and most importantly, with their many stories, helped me have a better idea of what DV really was on an individual and system level.

I listened as they talked about resources, like counseling, courts, cops and other things available to these victims. I nodded sympathetically as they discussed the challenges of govt. controlling their spending, red tape, and fundraising to keep the shelters doing their best work. And I asked them how I, as a person of male privilege, could be a better ally. They talked about role modeling behavior, calling out sexists remarks or jokes, and truly support and advocating for women. On this, I was slightly disappointed because I feel I do a lot of those things already, but the reaffirmation and new information I feel have better prepared me to understand the perspectives these victims are coming from. And I hope I have more tools to be a better resource and support for all victims of DV, especially those in the economic conditions of places like rural Michigan.

I was hoping to finish writing this on Sunday, but the short version of how the weekend ended was with Frenchie and I going to a Cleveland Indians game. Her chance to see my other side started first from her saying she hated baseball. I, an avid lover of the game, decided this was a great way to show insight to this love, as well as connect baseball back to my family, childhood, passion, and pastime. So I explained the strategy that goes into baseball. How pitching works, what a pitcher is trying to do, how he interacts with the catcher, what the fielders are doing, what the batter is doing, how it is both a very individual and very team focused game, why and when managers make substitutions, and on and on and on about the rules of the game I love. I also told her how it was different being at a game vs watching it vs playing, and that to truly appreciate the strategy, I recommend watching it on TV. At the game, I encouraged her to take advantage of the alcohol and food, which we did. I explained that the Indian stadium atmosphere was kind of disappointing with such a late season faltering in the standings and a fanbase that barely cared anymore. Even when the Indians came back to tie on a 2 out 9th inning rally, there was barely and life in the crowd. But I also talked about how going to the game was about family to me, and the memories of my dad and siblings going out for a great game while my mom enjoyed an evening to herself. How I played little league and that started my true love for baseball and for my favorite team, the Angels. Not the Dodgers, not the Padres, not some random other team, but the Angels, and as Frenchie grew up in Annapolis, how the Orioles and Nationals could both be her teams, and she was much more into the game as she thought about the Orioles. In short, I think she had as good a time as possible and doesn't hate baseball quite so much. Yay for new perspectives!

I think that's all for this week. Have a great one all!

-JTY

Listening to: Tron Legacy soundtrack. I found it to be good exercise music

Reading: Slaughterhouse 5, cuz why not.

Playing: Borderlands 2 and League. Thoroughly enjoyable.