The muse of Musings has returned!!

So my muse, that feeling like I just gotta write stuff down has finally re-hit me. I greatly apologize for a month+ delay. I am especially grateful to those that kept bugging me and bugging me to write. I've literally thought about it every day for the past 2 or 3 weeks, but I haven't felt truly inspired to write so the thought of spending over an hour crafting an entry (yes it easily takes me that long and that's without grammar checks!) just sounded more like work. In fact, I began writing part of tonight's entry 3 weeks ago but I just wasn't feeling it and it felt forced and journal-like rather than a true musing. To counter this, I think I will try posting in parts over the course of a week or so, that way even if I only write everything at once, you will have things to look forward to a little more often. Also, it will solidify a habit, I hope, so that writing comes more easily and I slip into the groove a little faster. Plus, its summer! I can afford to lose sleep a little bit easier so I can't use the "I'm too tired to write excuse."

Anyway on with the blog!

The cause for my pondering mood tonight is the new movie Toy Story 3. It just came out this weekend and if you haven't seen it, its wonderful! In addition to some great new characters and a fun, fast paced story, it really struck a chord with me. Without giving anything away, the movie centers around Andy, the toys' owner going to college and what is to become of the toys. This theme and the idea of a boy leaving behind his childhood playthings struck me so deep, that I won't lie, I very nearly cried at the end. Besides struggling to hold back my self-perceived unadult tears (you can get into debates about boys not being allowed to cry another time, let me just leave it at I do not cry, especially in public), I realized that I wasn't just being touched by the story, I was near-crying for change from childhood to adulthood. I had put myself in Andy's place, and the thought of leaving behind my toys, my childhood memories, the happiness, the freedom, and uninhibited imagination, made me want to weep at the loss.

I miss my toys! My legos wear I created whole worlds with reoccurring characters and ships and dragons and giant robots all blending together in an ongoing epic saga. My beast wars, action figures that transformed into animals, with whom my brother, Drewe Yorke, and I pitted against the giant Godzilla toys and his army of dinosaurs. Enter the Star Wars, Ninja Turtles, and Batman characters and the living room was turned into a massive war zone of gray-hair inducing proportions! My Mighty Max toys, (the manly Polly Pockets) where all of the above occurred on a smaller scale. And I can't forget the many Christmas's wear Drew, my Dad and I got out the plastic army men that helped inspire Toy Story, armed them with Duplo (big legos) blocks and fired at each other from behind the decorations. Many an ornament was lost those years.

So important were toys to me, then and now, that Drew and I actually vowed to pull them all out of storage one weekend this summer to relive the glory days. And that's why I near-weep. Because I do see those as the glory days, especially when the wave of nostalgia hits. Even as a child I took the Toys R Us song very seriously: "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us Kid!" I know that the paradise I lived in wouldn't last and I'm glad to say I think I made the most of my time there.

But I miss it and though I love life today, I haven't by any means forgotten about toys. I look around my room and see (in no particular order, a Legend of Zelda Sword and Shield, Mario magnets, Mario and Yoshi remote control cars and a light-up sound effects making lightsaber, just in my immediate view. I have a few toys hidden up in my closet too. But secretly I yearn to flash forward a few years (read at least 10), when I have young kids of my own so I have an excuse to lay on the warm carpet next to the Christmas tree and play with the new toys my kids have just opened, without fear or consequence of being just an adult in denial, weird, childish, or stuck in the past. I like wear I am now, I really do. But I sometimes wish I could have the best of both worlds. I guess that's life though. And that's a really adult response, too.

So sorry the somber note. And that goes for my last post too. I hope that people feel comfortable continuing to discuss heavy topics and keep dialogue flowing. I did have a good convo with Clark after his response comments and I've been meaning to translate that into a public post, but well, you see how often I update.

On to some light Summercamp stories, which I started writing before.

I shall provide you updates on my life in Summercamp over the last few weeks of the school year. Three instances in particular come to mind. Tacos, Times and Traps. Today I'll talk about Tacos.

Not just any tacos mind you. Pink Tacos. There's probably a sexual connotation that can be made here but before I start saying things like I devoured that delicious taco, there were actually no tacos involved. I went to the Pink Taco restaurant with N.I.N., Banana Slug, Banana Slugs BF VG Anteater, and our Sassy Gay Friend. Banana Slug drove all of us in her five seat sedan. Pink Taco is a bar and mexican restaraunt with really tasty chips, guac, quesadillas and loads of other appetizers that we took full advantage of. In honor of NIN's birthday, she, Sassy Gay Friend and VG Anteater took shots. Sadly, I had to go back to work so my celebration was limited toasting. We were joined by JD, who just returned from jury duty (more on that later). When all the celebrating was done, as in all good celebrations water was called for. The waiter brought a plate of water glasses and as he began to hand them out, the tray magically flipped sending 3 full water glasses to the floor and one to Sassy Gay Friend's Lap. After our instinctive compassion and sympathy for both the poor embarrassed waiter and our friend, we couldn't help but chuckle ever so slightly. Rest assured that remarks insinuating that Sassy Gay Friend had wet his pants, became excited, or that the waiter made his pants wet were ever remotely offered, mentioned or used as the butt of the joke for the time at the restaurant. Nope none of us said anything at all.

Well, I can at least promise I didn't say anything.

As poor SGF tried desperately to dry his pants off with those air blowers that you can't aim. I can only imagine what that looked like in the bathroom, the rest of us were served free drinks and JD proceeded to tell how he was sworn to not share any case details yet and the proceeded to tell us all the details he knew. Technically, at the time he was not an official juror so he probably could tell us that much, but I still had flashbacks of Brock going, "Guys I have a secret. But I can't tell you" and me going innocently, "Oh really what's it about?" and Brock proceeding to tell the entire thing.

As we left Pink Taco a little drunker, a little wetter and a little more legally informed then we had intended, it dawned on us that there were now six people to fit in a five person car. Let me point out one other thing: Banana Slug was the smallest one of us and it was her car and she was the DD. Next shortest was probably JD and then N.I.N. and I are nearly the same height. SGF and VG Anteater are both taller and stockier than I. This meant, of course, that I got to lie down on the laps of N.I.N., JD and VG Anteater for the 15 minute drive home in broad daylight. JD, my BOSS, and VG Anteater, my FORMER BOSS'S boyfriend. Yea, it was bonding time. Oh and lying face up meant JD could smack my stomach if I sassed him, which I do without thinking now. Needless to say, the ride ended with us being a little closer, and little more intimate, and a few red hand marks on my stomach. At least noone pulled us over. That story will come with I talk about the Times.

Until next time, I'm signing off now. I'll leave you with a few quotes that have been said around my house recently. I cannot attribute these to any one person, but I'm sure if you know the person you will know who said them. Now, you'll learn just a little too much about them...

"Yesterday, I hooked up with... (Dramatic Pause) an Asisan with an 8-inch penis! Yes-they do exist. It's like the Loch Ness Monster, but I found it."

El Bandito- I'll slap the gay out of you if you go after that man (referring to Brock meeting a certain higher up in my department)
Response: "I'll slap the straight out of you! It'll be a spanking."

"Some people say I made out with a homeless man. He was not homeless!"
Someone adds "It was in an alley!"
My response "Were you peeing or just walking there?"
"Both"

That last quote bothers me a bit because I think a lot more happened than just walking and relieving oneself . Also, one witness swears it happened multiple times.

I promise to talk more about Brock next time since I didn't share much about him today and this post still took almost an hour.

Listening to: "You've Got a Friend in Me" -Randy Newman though there's a few interesting renditions of it in the new movie.

Reading: Sherlock Holmes anthology. Love me a classic mystery.

Playing: Bioshock (Almost done with the first one) Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones and Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 with Heavy Spy.

Happy Father Day all! Call your dad's if you can.

Thoughts on Religion

I'll warn you now, I don't intend this particular entry to be very humorous, so if you don't want to see my musings about religion then feel free to disregard this post.

I also want to preface this by saying that I am an active, attempting-to-be-devout Catholic. I can only speak best from that point of view and while I don't like to represent my entire religion in my thoughts, and may not completely capture the Catholic point of view, I'm sure this entry will be expressing both my thoughts and the perspectives of my Church.

The other day, a friend of mine posted a link to an AP article on Facebook about the Pope making statements against gay marriage. In addition to his own angry comments (it should be noted he's gay) several other people, most of whom I didn't know, also responded angrily, usually including several comments about molesting priests, bishops or popes, and the like.

My natural first instinct whenever anyone says anything against my church is "Hey! What was that for?" The kind of instant defensiveness that someone gets when insulted. My second thought (it should be noted that I read the article before the comments) was "Mman, the Catholic Church just CAN'T get itself any good PR." The article itself was slightly more biased than a usual AP article, emphasizing the most negative soundbites and glancing over the complete picture of the Church's stances on gay marriage and also abortion and a number of other issues at the time. The article also wandered off about where the pope was and why (Fatima, Portugual if you were wondering).

Anyway, continuing my reaction process to the Facebook post, my third thought was "yea, my friends are angry and I don't blame them." Maybe ripping the pope a new one on a public Facebook thread isn't the best way to convey that anger, but it doesn't discount the fact that many people are angry at the Church, at many of its recent actions, and particularly at its stances on gay marriage, especially after Prop 8 passed a year and a half ago.

So, because this article initiated that series of reactions for me and I was feeling perturbed after reading the posts, I too commented on the thread with the following post:

"..."

I was intentionally vague and didn't say anything else lest I start a flame war on the post, but I did also want to express my feelings, at least in the general sense of the negative which on the Internet an ellipses can suggest. My goal was to be convey an, "OK guys, you've made your point that's enough" kind of remark. Maybe it wasn't my place, but I did feel that the other perspective at least had the right to say something. Later, Brock told me that my friend was worried that he had offended me with the post. I hope he knows he hasn't. I understand that such topics are very emotional, frustrating and confusing to me and to everyone else. If I were truly offended and hurt, I probably would have said something more than "..." My goal of defusing the conversation was accomplished without trying to start a fight. (There was only one post after mine and it changed the subject)

Generally, things like that slide off me, and the last thing I want to do is anger the people already angry. So as I pondered this event again today, I was spurred to write a blog entry because the reason the people get angry more than anything IMHO, is misinformation. People don't understand what other people think, why they think it, an often are unwilling to see the perspectives from another's point of view. I am no exception, but I am trying. So let me try to convey my Catholic perspective on gay marriage a little, and also try to explain why the Church FAILS at creating positive PR.

So, first let me say that the Church's rules come from Scripture (ie the Bible) and Tradition (not to be confused with tradition, which for the purposes of simplicity, means habitual actions) Tradition with a capital T stems from the belief that Jesus gave his authority to the Apostles and they in turn have the ability to create Church doctrine and dogma. Peter the apostle, is considered the first pope and the other apostles the first bishops, and the Catholic church traces its current lineage all the way back to them. Therefore, in the Catholic church's eyes, the Pope has the authority Jesus gave Peter. That doesn't mean that everything the Pope says is God's word incarnate. A lot of what the pope says is either A) just the pope speaking as a MAN in a position of power or B)doctrine, positions the church holds but not necessarily set in stone things. For example, saying the Mass in Latin for hundreds of years was a doctrine and a practice not a permanent thing. Dogma is something that Catholics have to believe to call themselves Catholics. Things like Jesus died and Resurrected. It should be noted that many things in the Bible constitute as Dogma.

OK so that's a bit of a theology lesson but the important thing to understand is that the pope is a normal human who makes mistakes and whatnot but he is also an important man who represents the Church (not God, the Church). The Church strives to do God's will on Earth and convey what God's will is to everyone. And it has 2000 years of practice, so it does actually knows what its are talking about, despite popular belief.

So what about gay marriage? OK so in the Bible there are a number of verses about homosexual acts being grave sins. Most Catholic and Christian (when I say Christian I tend to refer to non-Catholics followers of Christ, though Catholics, Protestants and Orthodox believers are Christians) groups tend to cite the Sodom and Gomorrah story in Genesis or a passage in Paul's Letter to the Romans, found in the New Testament.

So here's the church's stance on homosexual activity (meaning sex specifically). It's wrong. There's no sugarcoating it, that's the stance.

Let me make things a little clearer though: Here's the church's stance on pre-martial sex of any kind. It's wrong.

So right there I want to emphasize that the Church considers any sex outside of marriage wrong. Generally, there's no way to tell that to people and make them feel all warm and happy, so its no wonder the Church already starts out with a bad image.

There is actually a long and logical reason why the Church says no sex before marriage. It centers around how the Church sees sex as something very valuable, very important and sacred. Therefore, it wants to create a holy place for sex. That place is the sacrament of marriage.

The next logical step is to say well if I can't have sex homosexual or other kind outside of marriage- and I want to have sex (an important thing to add)- then I want to be able to get married. But the Catholic church says no gay marriage.

Again, you are right. The Catholic church says no gay marriage because it defines marriage as that between a man and a woman. Why does it do that? One main reason is simply that a man and a woman can create a baby. Again, the church values the creation of life, so it has created a sacred place for life to be created: Marriage. Sex creates life and marriage is the safe and holy place for all those things. There is a method to the "madness". If you have something valueable, you put it in a safe place where it can be cared for. This is how the church views marriage. The safe place to care for sex and more importantly, the new life that can come from sex.

A side note, any the Church finds that any sex that doesn't have the possibility to result in a child is also incomplete and therefore not given the proper value and thus wrong.

Judging by how many of my gay friends jokingly call heterosexuals "breeders," I think that it is accepted that some people are called to create new life and some aren't. This has nothing to do with being parents or adoption, this is about creating the life through sex.

Also, this has nothing to do with the legal rights that come with marriage. It is true that when Catholics get marriage through the Church, it also means they receive the legal rights of marriage. It is these legal rights that I think many of my gay friends get so angry about that they do not have. And I agree with them. The church does not say that homosexuals cannot love or be with someone they love. It only says they cannot partake in this marriage sacrament that the Church issues because sex is a fundamental and required part of marriage. The church says gays shouldn't have sex for the same reason unmarried people shouldn't have sex, because it is not whole complete sex, it does not have the procreation aspect to it and only focuses on the pleasure side. The church sees sex in big picture, and wants all people to see it and value it in the same light.

There's a lot of complexities to marriage, sex, and procreation that I am not going into minute detail on. It is summed up in the Church teachings on the Theology of the Body if you're interested let me know. Some of the holes in my statements that you may be picking at are probably answered there.

So now for the topic of marriage specifically. I think its safe to say that most people that want same-sex marriage to exist want it primarily for the legal rights that come with marriage. Brock pointed out to me that they also want to be viewed as equals and as an accepted part of society, so the social rights of marriage. Here is where the Church PR department fails again. Whenever the Church says marriage, it refers to the afore explained Sacrament of Marriage. The legal rights and the social acceptance, as I understand the Catholic church, are completely fine. However, that's not the message that I think most people get from the Church. Because it says "No same sex marriage" meaning its not going to be giving out same sex messages, and because it takes political stances against it, the opposite message is sent. It also perpetuates a social stigma against same sex marriage.

The Church says same sex marriage is not ok because, i think, supporting it will send a message that homosexual sex is also ok. Most people define marriage by the legal side of it. The church defines it by the sacrament. It doesn't particularly care about the legal rights but in the United States, those come with Catholic marriage. However, that's a hard and complicated stance that the Church doesn't break down for the average person. That's what I consider bad PR. Not the fact that it doesn't agree with same sex marriage but that it doesn't explain why or what it does support. Its a complicated press game that most people I dont think even care to know and the Church isn't bothering to explain. And the way the media works, people aren't going to remember that the chuch thinks civil and equal rights are good. They are going to focus on the fact that the church doesn't think gays should have sex.

So what does the church think gays should do? Live a life a celibacy, just like any unmarried person, any priest, or any nun. Not everyone is called to marriage, gay or straight. But I'm sure that sounds and feels like being singled out and being prejudiced against. The PR department failed again when the Vatican issued a statement saying gays were being discourage from joining the priesthood. Yea, that was a fail. Telling people to live a life of celibacy but not given them the chance to serve God in a role where celibacy is also emphasized. I know that came down due to the child molestation allegations, where mostly little boys were targeted, adding a homosexual tone to the priest's actions. That fallout has its own set of PR failures and successes and I'm sure the Church is learning a lot about transparency. I don't think people ever really cared about Church doing its own thing before, but now that these allegations and the cover ups have come to head, I hope the Church becomes a little more open and less secretive with the general public about its business and handlings. I think the private nature of the Church in general has hurt it a lot lately. Anyway, a good homosexual Catholic is called to live a celibate life, that doesn't mean they can't have partners, lovers etc. It just means they can't have sex, which is something that society these days doesn't bother to make a distinction for.

Another people. A lot of press goes to people who say gays are going to hell. The Church does say stuff like homosexuals acts are grave sins. So is premarital sex though, but the soundbits tend to focus on just the homosexual side and the church doesn't push the non-gay agenda very publically it seems. Let me explain something else. According to the Catholic church, sins can cause you to go to hell and some sins are more dangerous to your soul than others. But hell is defined as the rejection of God. Someone once explained hell to me as something you choose. You choose to be away from God and disregard him. So what does this mean? It means the God I believe in is a God of mercy and forgiveness. What happens to you after you die is your business between you and God and whatever relationship you've built with him. It's not like there's a checklist before you qualify for heaven or a number of strikes before you get hell. There's no one thing, even something as horrible as murder, that guarantees hell, but the rationale is if you choose to do that you probably aren't choosing God much in the first place. The church can give you guidelines, but God ultimately decides who goes to heaven and hell, not man. (A good Catholic tries to follow those guidelines because they believe these are the best ways to get to heaven. Many Catholics choose to pick which guidelines they like and only follow those. That's a whole different subject but I will say, I think those people are missing the point and should re-evaluate calling themselves Catholics if they aren't at least trying to follow Catholic teachings. There's a difference between trying and failing and rejecting teachings you don't like). Sorry for the tangent. Moving on...

Also, there is nothing in the Bible that says all homosexuals are going to hell. Again, the sex is bad, being gay is not. Don't you EVER let anyone tell you that being gay means you are going to hell.

As I wrap up here are a few notes.

I said "the church" for the most part in these places. I intentionally did not say God says this, because for one thing, I don't know what God says. For another, the Church represents God the best it can and is pretty good at it from what I can tell and what I believe, but ultimately, God is the one that will make any judgments. The Church can say that swearing is bad all it wants but I have no doubt in my mind that there are people in heaven that swore on earth. The Church also comes off as harsh and unforgiving. People miss the messages of mercy, hope and imperfection. The God of the Catholic church and the God that I believe in is one of mercy and forgiveness, who knows that we make mistakes every day and loves us more than anything we can imagine. I wish the Church would focus its PR on that rather than on the don'ts. Yes, the rules are tough and tend to call for restraint rather than going buck wild. But all rules do that and generally they are for the better.

One last note on the topic of converting people. Many would argue that a Catholic's role is to convert those people around them. This is a very common Christian perspective. The Catholic church isn't competely about converting but it far from opposed to it. Also, it does use the mission of spreading Christ's message as justification for "telling people how to live", to put it in the negative light, as most people do.

Here's my take on that. As Catholics, we believe that our path to heaven is the best, most complete path we can take. Because we believe this, we don't want to just keep that to ourselves but share that opportunity with everyone else. Its a very positive mindset. Some Christian groups, I believe, take it too far and become bothersome and forceful in their conversion attempts. This has given all Christians a bad reputation. I don't think as Catholics our mindset is that of convert everyone. Our moral compass is guided by this faith, so we often have clashes with people that have a different set of values. Right now, we Catholics should not be out to convert as much as to inform. Nobody is going to join a faith they don't understand, and when people don't have the whole picture, how can they understand?

These perspectives are Catholic perspectives and the Church means them for believers and non-believers alike. However, we it is more important that we express these beliefs, not impose them. If a person chooses not to believe what we Catholics believes, that is their choice. Catholics share and encourage the perspective but shouldn't force it.

Also as the Bible quote goes, "Let him without sin cast the first stone. I feel we Catholics should work on holding ourselves accountable.

We have to deal with a lot of our own issues, meaning each Catholic figure themselves out and commit to at least try to be Catholic. I think there are a ton of non-practicing Catholics and I'd say the Church has just as big an obligation to reconvert those as the non-Catholics. But as those things progress slowly, the Church shouldn't disregard is mission of spreading the message that is a faith that believes in a great God. A God of love. A God of acceptance. Of forgiveness. Of understanding. Of self-sacrifice. Of true selflessness. Of peace. Of hope. Of Joy.

My faith is a happy faith. So remember when you read articles, that they never report on that side of the church. Only of the negative, the human side, the failings and the mistakes. They don't focus on the power of a belief in God. The peace of mind. The bliss that comes from having a God that loves you and wants what's best for you, and actually knows what that is better than we do ourselves.

Thanks for reading until the end. My goal is not to convert or force my faith on you. I'd love to have conversations about this and see how you pick my statements apart. I think sometimes its taboo to talk about these things, except in emotional outbursts. Brock and I have already had a great convo while I was writing this. He helped clarify some things for me too. I also went to Mass in between this and the sermon and readings really hit on some of these topics too. I know I made some assumptions that may not be true or accurate. I apologize if anything offended anyone. It's impossible for me to perfectly reflect all the Catholic Church's views. So I reflect my own views of what Catholic is. I hope I also conveyed the positive sides of Christianity, since it seems those are so often overlooked.

I pray that this sets some thing straight, brings for more openness, understanding and acceptance.

Always late it seems...

Sorry I haven't written in two weeks. Between long days at work and a number of things going on in the evenings, it just has slipped beyond my priority lists. Thanks to everyone who keeps bugging me to update. I think I owe it to Brock to write about him first for once, because he started reminding me to write almost every day.

So for Brock's Block, first I want to talk about an incident that happened just the other night. We had some mutual friends, Jordan and Penny, in town from Georgia. After playing basketball with Jordan, his twin brother Kareem, and another friend of ours, Argentina, we all went out to a sandwich joint called Punchos. Brock had texted me while playing ball saying, "What time you coming home?" I called him to invite him and he didn't answer. I called him again and it rang twice, going to voicemail, making me think maybe he hung up on me because he was doing something else. I get home later that night and found the house perfectly clean, which if you know Brock, is like a miracle (Clark and I are considering hiding all the dishes except one so he has to wash them...)

Needless to say I thought for sure that he had some... "company" over. I mean, the guy like literally uses radar to find a quick, carseat-filled fling. Well, the moral of the story is never make assumptions. Turns out Clark just wanted a clean living room and Brock had been asleep. My bad. You know what they say about assumptions...

Sorry Brock :)

Brock quote of the week: "Is there any alcohol in our apartment that you've hidden and I don't know about?" I guess I must have let slip that a few weeks ago when he was looking for beer, I had a whole cooler of it hidden in my room so he wouldn't drink it before Alejandro and Diet Lemonade's co-birthday bash.

In another episode of my life in Summercamp, mother nature continues to claim stake over Summercamp. I was sitting in my office on Thursday and this tiny little bird hops in. It looks around and peaks behind the printer and then I move a little and it hops back out. I just kinda smiled to myself. Flash forward a few days. My OA walks in and is like, "there's some birds in the conference room." JD and I get up and walk to the entrance. I spot two birds flying around the far window. JD walks up to the door and one of the birds shoots out right at our faces. I cry out and duck, covering my face. I've seen Hitchcock's The Birds. When I look up, I see JD just standing there like "What?" Silly me, I forgot that he probably couldn't see the creature flying to gash out his eyes!! I exaggerate. Long story short, because the second bird wouldn't fly out on its own, I lowered the blinds on all the other windows and then went out behind our conference room and shaded the last window, so the only other exit was the door. The bird left and we earned our office back from nature.

Apparently there were birds in the office the next day too.

I feel like a freaking Disney princess.

On a more pondersome note, recently the school at which I work was visited by John Quisones (sp?) who is a broadcast journalist and has the show What would You Do? It's about people in situations where they witness some kind of crime or mistreatment (portrayed unbeknownst to the onlookers, by actors) and then he interviews them about why they took the action they did. For example, if someone sees a man putting some white powder in a woman's drink while she's gone, do they warn her?

Anyway he was there and talking about a lot of different topics particuarly his own story of being a Mexican man trying to break into broadcast journalism. Among other things, he mentioned that his family had live in San Antonio, Texas since before it was part of the United States. He said when people asked him when he crossed the Border, he responds with, what are you talking about? The border crossed us!

It got me to thinking about where we come from. Sometimes we are so focused on where we are going and what we are doing next, especially those of us just out of college, that we don't think about where we've come from, in the big picture. I was looking at those around me: JD comes from Kentucky and says his family speaks hick at home. My other boss, Santa Claus, comes from a small town in the Midwest and has strong ties to Purdue, but doesn't stay in close contact with his old hometown friends. Another coworker and friend, N.I.N (Nice is Neat- try to figure out THAT book reference) hails all the way from Hawaii. My best friend, Spam Boa, lives in Spanish Fork Utah. Another, P-Diddy, lives in Singapore. I mean even in my family one Grandma grew up in New Orleans and the other in Panama. I have friends from China, Australia and countries across the world. And I was just having a convo with the GF about how I am proud to have come from Orange County and grown up in good ol' Santa Ana.

Besides being an excuse to make up a nickname for a whole bunch of people (P-Diddy hahaha) I really was feeling quite pondersome about what it means to say you come from somewhere. How our identities are formed much more by what we've been not what we are going to do. I could say some day I'm going to be a teacher. And people may even look at me and say yea, that guys totally going to be a teacher, look at this and this and this. But I'm still more defined as that guy who grew up in Orange County, went to some giant brick-building'd school, and did that and that and that. I'm not sure what I'm trying to get at here, but I am very happy and proud about where I've been. So, for my last thought, people always say if you could go back and do something different, would you? I say no because who I am now is because of where I've been, what I've done and how I interacted with all the people around me who have done and been to all these places. Live and learn from fools and from sages. So thanks all of you for all the places you've been and good luck with all the places you'll go.

I promise to get another, funnier entry soon. I don't want this blog to be forced but at the same time, I appreciate people asking for more.

Next time, I'll give the context for this quote by my friend, Heavy Spy, enjoy!

"Maternity wards and psych wards are the same thing. They both have crazy people shouting."

Listening to: That stupid robot unicorn attack song always gets stuck in my head...

Also, my friend Yellow Piggy lent me the CD of a certain musical performance at school that I took duty for so everyone else could go see Yellow Piggy sing. Her acapella group sounds pretty awesome :)

Reading: Editing paper after paper after paper it seems... also the Angels Team Report, looking for hope

Playing: Starcraft 2 Beta, Pokemon HeartGold, Left 4 Dead 2... ALL AT THE SAME TIME!! (and in better quality with my new graphics card)