Thoughts on Religion

I'll warn you now, I don't intend this particular entry to be very humorous, so if you don't want to see my musings about religion then feel free to disregard this post.

I also want to preface this by saying that I am an active, attempting-to-be-devout Catholic. I can only speak best from that point of view and while I don't like to represent my entire religion in my thoughts, and may not completely capture the Catholic point of view, I'm sure this entry will be expressing both my thoughts and the perspectives of my Church.

The other day, a friend of mine posted a link to an AP article on Facebook about the Pope making statements against gay marriage. In addition to his own angry comments (it should be noted he's gay) several other people, most of whom I didn't know, also responded angrily, usually including several comments about molesting priests, bishops or popes, and the like.

My natural first instinct whenever anyone says anything against my church is "Hey! What was that for?" The kind of instant defensiveness that someone gets when insulted. My second thought (it should be noted that I read the article before the comments) was "Mman, the Catholic Church just CAN'T get itself any good PR." The article itself was slightly more biased than a usual AP article, emphasizing the most negative soundbites and glancing over the complete picture of the Church's stances on gay marriage and also abortion and a number of other issues at the time. The article also wandered off about where the pope was and why (Fatima, Portugual if you were wondering).

Anyway, continuing my reaction process to the Facebook post, my third thought was "yea, my friends are angry and I don't blame them." Maybe ripping the pope a new one on a public Facebook thread isn't the best way to convey that anger, but it doesn't discount the fact that many people are angry at the Church, at many of its recent actions, and particularly at its stances on gay marriage, especially after Prop 8 passed a year and a half ago.

So, because this article initiated that series of reactions for me and I was feeling perturbed after reading the posts, I too commented on the thread with the following post:

"..."

I was intentionally vague and didn't say anything else lest I start a flame war on the post, but I did also want to express my feelings, at least in the general sense of the negative which on the Internet an ellipses can suggest. My goal was to be convey an, "OK guys, you've made your point that's enough" kind of remark. Maybe it wasn't my place, but I did feel that the other perspective at least had the right to say something. Later, Brock told me that my friend was worried that he had offended me with the post. I hope he knows he hasn't. I understand that such topics are very emotional, frustrating and confusing to me and to everyone else. If I were truly offended and hurt, I probably would have said something more than "..." My goal of defusing the conversation was accomplished without trying to start a fight. (There was only one post after mine and it changed the subject)

Generally, things like that slide off me, and the last thing I want to do is anger the people already angry. So as I pondered this event again today, I was spurred to write a blog entry because the reason the people get angry more than anything IMHO, is misinformation. People don't understand what other people think, why they think it, an often are unwilling to see the perspectives from another's point of view. I am no exception, but I am trying. So let me try to convey my Catholic perspective on gay marriage a little, and also try to explain why the Church FAILS at creating positive PR.

So, first let me say that the Church's rules come from Scripture (ie the Bible) and Tradition (not to be confused with tradition, which for the purposes of simplicity, means habitual actions) Tradition with a capital T stems from the belief that Jesus gave his authority to the Apostles and they in turn have the ability to create Church doctrine and dogma. Peter the apostle, is considered the first pope and the other apostles the first bishops, and the Catholic church traces its current lineage all the way back to them. Therefore, in the Catholic church's eyes, the Pope has the authority Jesus gave Peter. That doesn't mean that everything the Pope says is God's word incarnate. A lot of what the pope says is either A) just the pope speaking as a MAN in a position of power or B)doctrine, positions the church holds but not necessarily set in stone things. For example, saying the Mass in Latin for hundreds of years was a doctrine and a practice not a permanent thing. Dogma is something that Catholics have to believe to call themselves Catholics. Things like Jesus died and Resurrected. It should be noted that many things in the Bible constitute as Dogma.

OK so that's a bit of a theology lesson but the important thing to understand is that the pope is a normal human who makes mistakes and whatnot but he is also an important man who represents the Church (not God, the Church). The Church strives to do God's will on Earth and convey what God's will is to everyone. And it has 2000 years of practice, so it does actually knows what its are talking about, despite popular belief.

So what about gay marriage? OK so in the Bible there are a number of verses about homosexual acts being grave sins. Most Catholic and Christian (when I say Christian I tend to refer to non-Catholics followers of Christ, though Catholics, Protestants and Orthodox believers are Christians) groups tend to cite the Sodom and Gomorrah story in Genesis or a passage in Paul's Letter to the Romans, found in the New Testament.

So here's the church's stance on homosexual activity (meaning sex specifically). It's wrong. There's no sugarcoating it, that's the stance.

Let me make things a little clearer though: Here's the church's stance on pre-martial sex of any kind. It's wrong.

So right there I want to emphasize that the Church considers any sex outside of marriage wrong. Generally, there's no way to tell that to people and make them feel all warm and happy, so its no wonder the Church already starts out with a bad image.

There is actually a long and logical reason why the Church says no sex before marriage. It centers around how the Church sees sex as something very valuable, very important and sacred. Therefore, it wants to create a holy place for sex. That place is the sacrament of marriage.

The next logical step is to say well if I can't have sex homosexual or other kind outside of marriage- and I want to have sex (an important thing to add)- then I want to be able to get married. But the Catholic church says no gay marriage.

Again, you are right. The Catholic church says no gay marriage because it defines marriage as that between a man and a woman. Why does it do that? One main reason is simply that a man and a woman can create a baby. Again, the church values the creation of life, so it has created a sacred place for life to be created: Marriage. Sex creates life and marriage is the safe and holy place for all those things. There is a method to the "madness". If you have something valueable, you put it in a safe place where it can be cared for. This is how the church views marriage. The safe place to care for sex and more importantly, the new life that can come from sex.

A side note, any the Church finds that any sex that doesn't have the possibility to result in a child is also incomplete and therefore not given the proper value and thus wrong.

Judging by how many of my gay friends jokingly call heterosexuals "breeders," I think that it is accepted that some people are called to create new life and some aren't. This has nothing to do with being parents or adoption, this is about creating the life through sex.

Also, this has nothing to do with the legal rights that come with marriage. It is true that when Catholics get marriage through the Church, it also means they receive the legal rights of marriage. It is these legal rights that I think many of my gay friends get so angry about that they do not have. And I agree with them. The church does not say that homosexuals cannot love or be with someone they love. It only says they cannot partake in this marriage sacrament that the Church issues because sex is a fundamental and required part of marriage. The church says gays shouldn't have sex for the same reason unmarried people shouldn't have sex, because it is not whole complete sex, it does not have the procreation aspect to it and only focuses on the pleasure side. The church sees sex in big picture, and wants all people to see it and value it in the same light.

There's a lot of complexities to marriage, sex, and procreation that I am not going into minute detail on. It is summed up in the Church teachings on the Theology of the Body if you're interested let me know. Some of the holes in my statements that you may be picking at are probably answered there.

So now for the topic of marriage specifically. I think its safe to say that most people that want same-sex marriage to exist want it primarily for the legal rights that come with marriage. Brock pointed out to me that they also want to be viewed as equals and as an accepted part of society, so the social rights of marriage. Here is where the Church PR department fails again. Whenever the Church says marriage, it refers to the afore explained Sacrament of Marriage. The legal rights and the social acceptance, as I understand the Catholic church, are completely fine. However, that's not the message that I think most people get from the Church. Because it says "No same sex marriage" meaning its not going to be giving out same sex messages, and because it takes political stances against it, the opposite message is sent. It also perpetuates a social stigma against same sex marriage.

The Church says same sex marriage is not ok because, i think, supporting it will send a message that homosexual sex is also ok. Most people define marriage by the legal side of it. The church defines it by the sacrament. It doesn't particularly care about the legal rights but in the United States, those come with Catholic marriage. However, that's a hard and complicated stance that the Church doesn't break down for the average person. That's what I consider bad PR. Not the fact that it doesn't agree with same sex marriage but that it doesn't explain why or what it does support. Its a complicated press game that most people I dont think even care to know and the Church isn't bothering to explain. And the way the media works, people aren't going to remember that the chuch thinks civil and equal rights are good. They are going to focus on the fact that the church doesn't think gays should have sex.

So what does the church think gays should do? Live a life a celibacy, just like any unmarried person, any priest, or any nun. Not everyone is called to marriage, gay or straight. But I'm sure that sounds and feels like being singled out and being prejudiced against. The PR department failed again when the Vatican issued a statement saying gays were being discourage from joining the priesthood. Yea, that was a fail. Telling people to live a life of celibacy but not given them the chance to serve God in a role where celibacy is also emphasized. I know that came down due to the child molestation allegations, where mostly little boys were targeted, adding a homosexual tone to the priest's actions. That fallout has its own set of PR failures and successes and I'm sure the Church is learning a lot about transparency. I don't think people ever really cared about Church doing its own thing before, but now that these allegations and the cover ups have come to head, I hope the Church becomes a little more open and less secretive with the general public about its business and handlings. I think the private nature of the Church in general has hurt it a lot lately. Anyway, a good homosexual Catholic is called to live a celibate life, that doesn't mean they can't have partners, lovers etc. It just means they can't have sex, which is something that society these days doesn't bother to make a distinction for.

Another people. A lot of press goes to people who say gays are going to hell. The Church does say stuff like homosexuals acts are grave sins. So is premarital sex though, but the soundbits tend to focus on just the homosexual side and the church doesn't push the non-gay agenda very publically it seems. Let me explain something else. According to the Catholic church, sins can cause you to go to hell and some sins are more dangerous to your soul than others. But hell is defined as the rejection of God. Someone once explained hell to me as something you choose. You choose to be away from God and disregard him. So what does this mean? It means the God I believe in is a God of mercy and forgiveness. What happens to you after you die is your business between you and God and whatever relationship you've built with him. It's not like there's a checklist before you qualify for heaven or a number of strikes before you get hell. There's no one thing, even something as horrible as murder, that guarantees hell, but the rationale is if you choose to do that you probably aren't choosing God much in the first place. The church can give you guidelines, but God ultimately decides who goes to heaven and hell, not man. (A good Catholic tries to follow those guidelines because they believe these are the best ways to get to heaven. Many Catholics choose to pick which guidelines they like and only follow those. That's a whole different subject but I will say, I think those people are missing the point and should re-evaluate calling themselves Catholics if they aren't at least trying to follow Catholic teachings. There's a difference between trying and failing and rejecting teachings you don't like). Sorry for the tangent. Moving on...

Also, there is nothing in the Bible that says all homosexuals are going to hell. Again, the sex is bad, being gay is not. Don't you EVER let anyone tell you that being gay means you are going to hell.

As I wrap up here are a few notes.

I said "the church" for the most part in these places. I intentionally did not say God says this, because for one thing, I don't know what God says. For another, the Church represents God the best it can and is pretty good at it from what I can tell and what I believe, but ultimately, God is the one that will make any judgments. The Church can say that swearing is bad all it wants but I have no doubt in my mind that there are people in heaven that swore on earth. The Church also comes off as harsh and unforgiving. People miss the messages of mercy, hope and imperfection. The God of the Catholic church and the God that I believe in is one of mercy and forgiveness, who knows that we make mistakes every day and loves us more than anything we can imagine. I wish the Church would focus its PR on that rather than on the don'ts. Yes, the rules are tough and tend to call for restraint rather than going buck wild. But all rules do that and generally they are for the better.

One last note on the topic of converting people. Many would argue that a Catholic's role is to convert those people around them. This is a very common Christian perspective. The Catholic church isn't competely about converting but it far from opposed to it. Also, it does use the mission of spreading Christ's message as justification for "telling people how to live", to put it in the negative light, as most people do.

Here's my take on that. As Catholics, we believe that our path to heaven is the best, most complete path we can take. Because we believe this, we don't want to just keep that to ourselves but share that opportunity with everyone else. Its a very positive mindset. Some Christian groups, I believe, take it too far and become bothersome and forceful in their conversion attempts. This has given all Christians a bad reputation. I don't think as Catholics our mindset is that of convert everyone. Our moral compass is guided by this faith, so we often have clashes with people that have a different set of values. Right now, we Catholics should not be out to convert as much as to inform. Nobody is going to join a faith they don't understand, and when people don't have the whole picture, how can they understand?

These perspectives are Catholic perspectives and the Church means them for believers and non-believers alike. However, we it is more important that we express these beliefs, not impose them. If a person chooses not to believe what we Catholics believes, that is their choice. Catholics share and encourage the perspective but shouldn't force it.

Also as the Bible quote goes, "Let him without sin cast the first stone. I feel we Catholics should work on holding ourselves accountable.

We have to deal with a lot of our own issues, meaning each Catholic figure themselves out and commit to at least try to be Catholic. I think there are a ton of non-practicing Catholics and I'd say the Church has just as big an obligation to reconvert those as the non-Catholics. But as those things progress slowly, the Church shouldn't disregard is mission of spreading the message that is a faith that believes in a great God. A God of love. A God of acceptance. Of forgiveness. Of understanding. Of self-sacrifice. Of true selflessness. Of peace. Of hope. Of Joy.

My faith is a happy faith. So remember when you read articles, that they never report on that side of the church. Only of the negative, the human side, the failings and the mistakes. They don't focus on the power of a belief in God. The peace of mind. The bliss that comes from having a God that loves you and wants what's best for you, and actually knows what that is better than we do ourselves.

Thanks for reading until the end. My goal is not to convert or force my faith on you. I'd love to have conversations about this and see how you pick my statements apart. I think sometimes its taboo to talk about these things, except in emotional outbursts. Brock and I have already had a great convo while I was writing this. He helped clarify some things for me too. I also went to Mass in between this and the sermon and readings really hit on some of these topics too. I know I made some assumptions that may not be true or accurate. I apologize if anything offended anyone. It's impossible for me to perfectly reflect all the Catholic Church's views. So I reflect my own views of what Catholic is. I hope I also conveyed the positive sides of Christianity, since it seems those are so often overlooked.

I pray that this sets some thing straight, brings for more openness, understanding and acceptance.