Here's the promised part 2 for last week, though not the next day. So the half promised part 2 I suppose.
Let it be known, I'm started this while I was sitting at work, feeling unproductive and burnt out because it has been just a whopper of a month. (Does anyone say whopper anymore outside of eating candy, Burger King and fishing?) So I thought I'd take an extended break and write in my blog. I finished this Sunday night when my other blog was supposed to be written. I guess you get two today.
So my reflections this week were that I really didn't do Lent justice. As usual, I didn't give up much as I find giving up things doesn't really change much, it just leaves me miserable or annoyed. Instead, I try to do more, which can be equally challenging. But the more I chose to do was exercise, not miss any church, participate in the Friday stations of the cross, and read the Rediscovering Catholicism book. I exercised like 3x and rationalized not doing it more because I've been sick basically all month. I think I missed one day of church due to illness, but I probably could have suffered through it. I made all the stations of the cross... except the last 3 due to traveling, work, and not having time on Good Friday (big fail there...). And I read most, but not all of the Rediscovering Catholicism book. Overall I'd say thats pretty fail.
So when I got to Easter, already I have trouble "feeling it" because I have found that the Easter Mass is rich in tradition but often poor in execution. On the most joyful day of the year, you'd think the music would be more upbeat, the homilies would be celebratory and the general mood would be awestruck and grand. Instead, the music is slow and somber (not in the cool deep tradition kind but in the slow and somber kind of slow and somber) and the homily was average. And the people tend to feel frustrated from the lack of parking, personal space (since the Masses are extra crowded) and planning on making it to their next family event.
Knowing I'd had a crappy Lent, I tried to make the most of Mass. I focused as much as I could and appreciated what the Mass really had to offer in the extra prayers, the words, of the songs, and imagining the sudden rush of hope the apostles must have felt but dared not latch onto when they heard Jesus may have been alive. While the overall execution was mediocre, I still think it was a good day. In particular, I had this moment where the guy next to me just really seemed to get it. He was a youngish man with a few little kids, but he was still singing, he whispered not to sit down until the bishop had put his hat one (which tricked most all of us) and when he gave the sign of peace he actually looked at you and made you feel it. While my non-Christian friends will think this is crazy, I really felt like Jesus was sitting next to me in this guy. So that really made my experience.
Of course, I went right back to failing missing Mass this Sunday our of pure, unrestrained laziness and excuse making, all to myself. I really need to latch onto those positive church moments more.
Which brings me to my next revelation. One thats been bothering my for a long time but I haven't really done anything about. I don't have any good Catholics playing prominent roles in my life. After Mass on last Sunday, I ran into two old friends, who I've known forever. We went to grade school together, high school together and were super involved in youth ministry together. Our faith lives were formed together. In college, we stayed close for the first few year, but as we all got involved in our various activities, we saw each other less and less.
It wasn't until the last year or so that I've realized how much impact those people had on my active faith life. I'm still Catholic and working at being a good one, but it was so much easier with those people in my life. It's not like nobody in my life supports my faith life. Sunshine Knives, Spam Boa, and Tenshi all support my Christianity, in very different ways I might add. But I don't even see Sunshine much anymore, Spam lives friggen far away, and Tenshi can only do so much considered she's not religious at all. I've met a few other Catholics at school too, but I either don't see them enough for us to support each other or they are slowly falling away too. I'm not home much with my folks either and I never truly found a church community I've truly felt at home like I used to.
A lot of this is on me, I have to make the efforts and persevere and even offer myself as that friend to others so we can support each other, but I think that's my biggest fault. I'm too stubborn to admit I need help and think I can do it on my own. And while that may be true that I can maintain on my own, I cannot improve alone. In all this, I know God is with me and has watched me flounder around with a relationship with him. But He works through others too, and that's where I've been more cut off.
Hmm. I didn't think that's where I was going with tonights reflections. I thought instead I would talk about my family. How we paint Easter eggs still, and my cousins and all their drama. Perhaps in the future I'll tell you. For now, I leave you with this thought, in honor of the beatification of John Paul II (for those of you who don't know that means he has one more step to becoming a saint. One miracle has already been attributed to him and now there needs to be another. He will now be referred to as Blessed John Paul II. On to the thought:
Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.
Listening to: Boston Foreplay/Longtime My fourth favorite song ever.
Playing: When I first started this post, all the gaming I was doing was on my phone and sometimes the ds: Angry Birds Rio and Castlevania Dawn of Sorrows
Reading: News articles about Obama's speech yesterday and JPII and Osama bin Laden. Big news weekend.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Happy Easter- It's Family Time!!!!!!
Happy Easter everyone! Even if you don't believe in anything to do with Easter, I do, so Happy Easter nonetheless. I hope you wish me a Happy Anydayyoufindimportant when it comes up too.
I want to talk a bit about family but I'm also getting sleepy, so I may save my musings for tomorrow and talk just give you a shorter story to satisfy your blog reading.
So for the story I have another Brock moment. I know many of you may be wondering about Naysayer P. Squirrel, but works been so busy that I don't have too much on him. Except he calls me one night, I think a little drunk, and tells me he is going to convert to Catholicism. Which was kind of shock considering if his religion were a facebook relationship status it'd be something like "God and I are on a break, it's complicated". Still, at the very least I think this will make for some interesting blog posts in the near future, as well as some interesting conversations between the two of us.
But on to Brock. In honor of Alejandro's birthday we went out to sushi then returned to our place for some R&R in the form of Sailor Jerrys, cream soda and/or cherry coke. Brock had wine because lets face it alcohol hits him hard already. Mama Goldfish, her boyfriend Always Playing VGs (Mama G and APV... It rhymes!), his best friend Charptooth, and Alejandro were all there. Clark was smart enough to stay in his room. We were talking and catching up and I was sharing the post-apocalyptic story about our group of friends Brock thought up one night and I actually wrote down... you know usual fun stuff. Then Brock gets this devious look in his eye and goes to his room, returning with his newly purchased semi-lifelike looking dildo. Thank goodness I had seen this before (when it had arrived in the mail from amazon and he'd whipped it out and thrown it at me- I was quick to block it with a pillow. Despite his pleas, I refuse to touch his dildo). Anyway, he brings it out to show everyone, bragging about how he found it on sale for like 70% percent off and just had to buy it and how he would have bought a black one but it cost 20% more and this was just such a good deal he had to get, but he's never used it or anything he just has for the sake of having it and it was just such a great deal...
Sometimes, I think one of the best parts about being Brock's roommate is the looks I get to share with the people around me. They go something like this: The glance over and with their semi-startled eyes ask me, is he serious. And my eyes reply, Oh yes. And then we both shake our heads a bit.
Comedy continued as Brock proceed to stick the dildo to the table, as the back end was basically a giant suction cup. It made a loud popping sound as it stuck to the table. He then put it up on the wall and hung his keys off of it. Then I felt mischievous and suggested he stick it to himself. He promptly plopped it onto his check with a loud smack (remember, whenever he gets home he strips down to his boxers briefs and wraps himself in one of my blankets). He then sat at the table with a dildo sticking out of his chest. It was actually pretty funny. He popped it onto his forehead (pun intended) and looked much like a unicorn, without the majestic, uncorrupted beauty. I suppose more like a cyclops with just one big eye...
Oh Brock. You weren't even that drunk. Just saw a sale...
I'll put my more serious musings down later. I do actually want to share my thoughts on Easter, which is about just the opposite of the conversations of todays blog. Sometimes I think I live my life in paradoxes...
Have a good day! I'm off to bed. Good night! Finish tomorrow, which is today I guess.
I want to talk a bit about family but I'm also getting sleepy, so I may save my musings for tomorrow and talk just give you a shorter story to satisfy your blog reading.
So for the story I have another Brock moment. I know many of you may be wondering about Naysayer P. Squirrel, but works been so busy that I don't have too much on him. Except he calls me one night, I think a little drunk, and tells me he is going to convert to Catholicism. Which was kind of shock considering if his religion were a facebook relationship status it'd be something like "God and I are on a break, it's complicated". Still, at the very least I think this will make for some interesting blog posts in the near future, as well as some interesting conversations between the two of us.
But on to Brock. In honor of Alejandro's birthday we went out to sushi then returned to our place for some R&R in the form of Sailor Jerrys, cream soda and/or cherry coke. Brock had wine because lets face it alcohol hits him hard already. Mama Goldfish, her boyfriend Always Playing VGs (Mama G and APV... It rhymes!), his best friend Charptooth, and Alejandro were all there. Clark was smart enough to stay in his room. We were talking and catching up and I was sharing the post-apocalyptic story about our group of friends Brock thought up one night and I actually wrote down... you know usual fun stuff. Then Brock gets this devious look in his eye and goes to his room, returning with his newly purchased semi-lifelike looking dildo. Thank goodness I had seen this before (when it had arrived in the mail from amazon and he'd whipped it out and thrown it at me- I was quick to block it with a pillow. Despite his pleas, I refuse to touch his dildo). Anyway, he brings it out to show everyone, bragging about how he found it on sale for like 70% percent off and just had to buy it and how he would have bought a black one but it cost 20% more and this was just such a good deal he had to get, but he's never used it or anything he just has for the sake of having it and it was just such a great deal...
Sometimes, I think one of the best parts about being Brock's roommate is the looks I get to share with the people around me. They go something like this: The glance over and with their semi-startled eyes ask me, is he serious. And my eyes reply, Oh yes. And then we both shake our heads a bit.
Comedy continued as Brock proceed to stick the dildo to the table, as the back end was basically a giant suction cup. It made a loud popping sound as it stuck to the table. He then put it up on the wall and hung his keys off of it. Then I felt mischievous and suggested he stick it to himself. He promptly plopped it onto his check with a loud smack (remember, whenever he gets home he strips down to his boxers briefs and wraps himself in one of my blankets). He then sat at the table with a dildo sticking out of his chest. It was actually pretty funny. He popped it onto his forehead (pun intended) and looked much like a unicorn, without the majestic, uncorrupted beauty. I suppose more like a cyclops with just one big eye...
Oh Brock. You weren't even that drunk. Just saw a sale...
I'll put my more serious musings down later. I do actually want to share my thoughts on Easter, which is about just the opposite of the conversations of todays blog. Sometimes I think I live my life in paradoxes...
Have a good day! I'm off to bed. Good night! Finish tomorrow, which is today I guess.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Is this month over yet?
It's been a long month. And its only halfway over. I'm exhausted.
But I'm back home. I've been in Minneapolis for the last week at the White Privilege Conference. It was pretty good and I heard some really awesome speakers. I don't remember if I explained what the WPC is last time but throughout this week I've been keeping a running blog of many of the events. (I was doing this on my brand new Droid 2 which I already love dearly and haven't even spent time messing around with it yet!) At some point soon, I will post that blog and you can see some of my thoughts, reflections, and things I've learned from it. Its challenging stuff, especially for white people because it talks about privileges that we have that are unearned, which often causes defensive and dismissive reactions, often guilt as well. When I post the stuff, I want to make sure I express it properly so if you do decide to read it, you won't have these reactions.
I talked with my dad about it last night and we ended up debating it for an hour and a half even though it was after midnight and he is usually well asleep at that point. He frustrated my mom (in case you didnt know my dad is white and my mom is hispanic-mexican and panamanian) and my brother recognized his "debate tone" and left before he go more angry too. But I'm very much like my father, enjoy a good debate, and was expecting such reactions to the topic because I've had them too. It's not something you get on the first try. Worse, I didn't explain it to him well because I was talking about all the activists that were at this conference (I don't really care for "activists" in the traditional sense thought I understand the need and effectiveness of them in certain situations), which set my dad assuming it was a bunch of BS when the topics were actually very academic, unbiased, and understanding. I know I'm talking around the conference a lot and that's because I would rather give you the blogged notes. I'm just meandering through my thoughts about this weekend.
Minneapolis was a cool town that I'm glad I visited but wouldn't want to live there. I saw Twins Stadium, the outdoor art museum, the country's first basilica, and, of course, the Mall of America, the largest mall in the country. Yes, I did ride the roller coaster (one of three) inside and yes it is huge!! The one downside is that most of the stores there are you every day stores. Growing up in the suburban area I did, there were plenty of malls around with all the same stuff. Just not as big. Still it was pretty amazing to be there. I have some pics on facebook (the ones from my new phone!) and will post more later.
Brock's Corner: I haven't done of these in a while but that's mostly cuz of this month being so insane that I haven't actually seen Brock or Clark or Alejandro who is staying with us. But here's a few facts:
Brock's been gone most weekends tending to the new home he purchased. Yes a house. Brock, ever seeking a way to make money, invested in home owning because that market is so poor right now, everythings cheap. So now hes playing landlord a few hundred miles away but once it gets going I think it'd be pretty cool if he had tenants. Oh the responsibility hehehehe.
Brock has a tendency to watch awful TV. Now I don't really watch TV period unless its sports, usually baseball. But Brock does most evenings and when he comes home for lunch. Here are some examples of the shows he watches: 16 and Pregnant, CNN, and RuPaul's Drag Race. Yea, quite a spectrum. This can be summed up very simply: Brock watches train wrecks. (If you think about it for a sec it makes sense) Oh Brock.
Actually, speaking of and to Brock, I found out which characters on RuPaul my boss, Santa Claus, knows: Raja, Delta Work, and Venus Delight. I think those were the names. He also gave me a recommendation for a fun evening outing watching drag queens fashion shows, which if its anything like drag queen bingo, which I've done, I imagine it would be pretty fun. Yes, people often think I'm gay. I'm used to it :)
And on that note! Goodnight!
Listening to: Tenshi singing Carrie Underwood (not very well she says though I disagree) I haven't seen her in a while so rather than go home, I'm still on the road sort to speak, visiting her at that silly rival school.
Reading: Screwtape Letters and Rediscovering Catholicism. Lent's only here for one more week. Gotta finish those!
Playing: Castlevania Dawn of Sorrows, a fun game with terrible storytelling on the DS.
But I'm back home. I've been in Minneapolis for the last week at the White Privilege Conference. It was pretty good and I heard some really awesome speakers. I don't remember if I explained what the WPC is last time but throughout this week I've been keeping a running blog of many of the events. (I was doing this on my brand new Droid 2 which I already love dearly and haven't even spent time messing around with it yet!) At some point soon, I will post that blog and you can see some of my thoughts, reflections, and things I've learned from it. Its challenging stuff, especially for white people because it talks about privileges that we have that are unearned, which often causes defensive and dismissive reactions, often guilt as well. When I post the stuff, I want to make sure I express it properly so if you do decide to read it, you won't have these reactions.
I talked with my dad about it last night and we ended up debating it for an hour and a half even though it was after midnight and he is usually well asleep at that point. He frustrated my mom (in case you didnt know my dad is white and my mom is hispanic-mexican and panamanian) and my brother recognized his "debate tone" and left before he go more angry too. But I'm very much like my father, enjoy a good debate, and was expecting such reactions to the topic because I've had them too. It's not something you get on the first try. Worse, I didn't explain it to him well because I was talking about all the activists that were at this conference (I don't really care for "activists" in the traditional sense thought I understand the need and effectiveness of them in certain situations), which set my dad assuming it was a bunch of BS when the topics were actually very academic, unbiased, and understanding. I know I'm talking around the conference a lot and that's because I would rather give you the blogged notes. I'm just meandering through my thoughts about this weekend.
Minneapolis was a cool town that I'm glad I visited but wouldn't want to live there. I saw Twins Stadium, the outdoor art museum, the country's first basilica, and, of course, the Mall of America, the largest mall in the country. Yes, I did ride the roller coaster (one of three) inside and yes it is huge!! The one downside is that most of the stores there are you every day stores. Growing up in the suburban area I did, there were plenty of malls around with all the same stuff. Just not as big. Still it was pretty amazing to be there. I have some pics on facebook (the ones from my new phone!) and will post more later.
Brock's Corner: I haven't done of these in a while but that's mostly cuz of this month being so insane that I haven't actually seen Brock or Clark or Alejandro who is staying with us. But here's a few facts:
Brock's been gone most weekends tending to the new home he purchased. Yes a house. Brock, ever seeking a way to make money, invested in home owning because that market is so poor right now, everythings cheap. So now hes playing landlord a few hundred miles away but once it gets going I think it'd be pretty cool if he had tenants. Oh the responsibility hehehehe.
Brock has a tendency to watch awful TV. Now I don't really watch TV period unless its sports, usually baseball. But Brock does most evenings and when he comes home for lunch. Here are some examples of the shows he watches: 16 and Pregnant, CNN, and RuPaul's Drag Race. Yea, quite a spectrum. This can be summed up very simply: Brock watches train wrecks. (If you think about it for a sec it makes sense) Oh Brock.
Actually, speaking of and to Brock, I found out which characters on RuPaul my boss, Santa Claus, knows: Raja, Delta Work, and Venus Delight. I think those were the names. He also gave me a recommendation for a fun evening outing watching drag queens fashion shows, which if its anything like drag queen bingo, which I've done, I imagine it would be pretty fun. Yes, people often think I'm gay. I'm used to it :)
And on that note! Goodnight!
Listening to: Tenshi singing Carrie Underwood (not very well she says though I disagree) I haven't seen her in a while so rather than go home, I'm still on the road sort to speak, visiting her at that silly rival school.
Reading: Screwtape Letters and Rediscovering Catholicism. Lent's only here for one more week. Gotta finish those!
Playing: Castlevania Dawn of Sorrows, a fun game with terrible storytelling on the DS.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Gas Birds and Signs
Hey all, update coming in the next days. I have a lot to say but I want to make my announcement official before I write this post. And I'm exhausted this month is insane! ta ta for now
OK! Sorry for the Wednesday update but I've been very very busy. Right now I'm writing this from Minneapolis where I can't sleep cuz I napped on the plane and finally have a chance to do so. I'm in Minneapolis because I'm at the White Privilege Conference. If you don't know what White Privilege is, well that's probably because you're white. A joke! Sorta. It's complicated to explain and its not my focus for tonight, but know that its a social justice conference that I hope does not turn into a white guilt conference.
Anyway! I have two stories to tell you about my misadventures this past weekend. First, though I have an update on Tenshi and Spotty Sister. For those of you who may not have heard, their father passed away this past week. He'd been battling cancer for the last few years, but his death was still unexpected and very sudden. It has been a difficult shock for both twins, their older, sister and mother, as well as their entire family. I've been over to her house pretty much every night the past week, trying to help as much as I can but the hardest thing is that there really isn't anything anyone can do. It just sucks.
That said, these women are some of the strongest people I know and I'm amazed at their perseverance, their positive attitude and their energy. In the Armenian culture as in many others, when someone dies, the entire family comes to visit the deceased's family. So the twins' home was like grand central station the past week, which is just draining. Try hosting a party every day for a week when you are emotionally exhausted, drained, and grieving. Yet these women did! It has been a privilege to be let into their family and help where I can, even if on the day of the funeral, most of the relatives thought I was the waiter. These things do happen :)
It is important to note that while the twins do appreciate sympathy, support, and thoughts and prayers, they also were getting an influx of messages on facebook, so that is probably not the best way to send your regards, like you do for peoples birthdays. If you haven't already, and you know them, maybe give them a call or text or a personal email or message. They appreciate the support and trust me, you're going to want to say "is there anything I can do." It's natural, its genuine, but its also silly. There's not a lot that can be done, just support and love.
On to happier things, better known as stupid moments with James. I have a series of them that occurred this past week. Then I will tell you about my college decision, I promise.
Stupid moment number 1: Tenshi told me to come to her house in all black. This was the first time I was going to meet most of her extended family. At a funeral. Yea, not good timing. As the only non-Armenian I was destined to stand out. However... I show up in dark blue jeans which were nice, a black tshirt and an American apparel track jacket. And flipflops. Yea, I didn't realize I was going to meet the family either. So I walked in and saw 15 people sitting around the room, silent, somber, and staring at me. I tried to smile, which was also foolish. I walked to the only empty seat, past all the other people, and sat there trying not to look white. Great first impression.
Stupid moment number 2: The day of the funeral, after everyone had left, I got up to go get something and accidentally knocked over the hooka sitting on a little table in the back room. I caught the hooka coals included which I promply dropped, and set it straight. But there was ash everywhere and one of the coals was slowly burning the area rug. So in other words, I burned their house on the day of a the funeral. Fail.
Finally we come to the gas and birds story. Here's the context:
So in the midst of this insane month that includes 3 twelve hour days at work, (last week 4! because it was admit day so I had to work until midnight) I went on a retreat. I volunteer at my church's Confirmation program, which works with HS freshmen and sophomores. We take them on a retreat. This time we went up north a bit to a more mountainous area to really get away. Due to my admit day responsibilities, I was unable to come until the next afternoon. The drive was going to be able 2 hours and I left with half a tank of gas, planning on fully filling up at the best of the mountain in the large, nearby city that houses on of our sister universities. So I'm driving and driving and right before the base of the hill where I'm going to stop and change highways, my friend Jabber Talky calls. If you recall, Jabber Talky likes to talk so usually I screen his calls unless I had time to do so. But I was driving alone so I figured I'd answer. So we're talking and talking- well he's talking and talking and I'm driving and driving and I notice that most cars had pulled off to the right but I didn't see any signs for the road I was looking for. I had a suspicion I should turn around but I figured I go a little further and see if I was wrong. If not, I'd turn around. So I keep going and notice my low fuel light is on. I go crap I need gas. So I see a sign that says the next town is a few miles ahead so I figure I'll go there and fill up. If the road I was looking for isnt there that's fine I'll just turn around. So I get to the town. Population: 100. Number of Gas stations: 0. I keep going seeing there's another town shortly further (closer than going back) and figure if this town didnt have gas the next one must. No gas. Now I'm worried, I've gone a long way and still no gas. (Jabber Talky is still going btw). I'm looking for those blue signs that say next stop fuel. Nothing. In fact that only thing I was seeing was no services no services. I cut the call short and pull over at a rest stop. I ask the half-deaf attendent whom I'm pretty sure just read my lips where the nearest gas was. 10 miles further. I did not have enough gas for 10 miles...
Long story short: I'm stuck at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere with no gas. I thought about walking the ten miles, but naturally the road curves into a tunnel with cliffs all around me. Its about 30 miles to go back. I decide to try to hitchhike. I look for people who I don't feel threatened by but also wouldn't feel threatened by me. Men traveling in groups. No. Woman traveling alone. No. Families. No. Older couples. Maybe... yes! Let's ask them. I could take them if they tried to jump me but there is two of them so they shouldn't be afraid of me right... This is how I was thinking. I sum of the courage (I hate asking for help) and ask a couple. They look at me like I'm crazy and say no. I lose my nerve and just sit there wishing someone I knew would magically stop at this rest stop.
Ultimately my retreat leader came to get me. We did the back and forth filling a gas can and getting me to the station. Then took a short cut through a strange town. There were windmills, on every third building. A statue of a viking, but like a comical viking out of How to Train Your Dragon style. And a random ostrich farm! I felt like I traveled through Africa and Amsterdam at the same time.
Oh and while I was waiting for my leader. The car next to me was also out of gas. AAA came and gave them 1 of the 2 gallons they carry on the car. Before I could ask to buy the second gallon, the tow truck driver said, oh, I'll just give you the second and you can pay me by filling it up. I watched my one chance at an easy solution drain away before my eyes. Fail.
OK last story, the one you've all been waiting for: my grad school decision. I need you to know that I've been torn between the private local rival school and Ohio State. For ease of sharing, they were equal choices each with strengths and weakness. Hence my hard hard hard decision. I will say to you, here and now that I have chosen Ohio State, after weeks of contemplation and one powerful moment at the retreat:
Normally Saturday night is the powerful retreat moment. We had adoration, which has always given me peace and clarity and I was hoping it would be there I made my decision. Instead, it was me fighting with God saying here no here no here! And ended with me frustrated and still unsure of where to go. The next morning, I woke the teens up and then said, hey I have an hour to kill, let's go walking up this back trail and see if I can find any deer or other wild life. I love seeing animals in the wild. So I start walking.
The path, CONVENIENTLY crosses the running creek as I go, so I come to the creek, step on a few stones and cross it. Naturally the path isn't straight but winds around the mountain. Winds right back to the creek too. So I have to cross it again. I have good balance, but I managed to slip and dunk my whole foot into the stupid creek. I'm going idiot now you're going to get blisters or athletes foot or leeches or something. I almost went back. I really did. But I felt compelled to keep walking. Like I had to clear my head and reach the end of the path. And see some animals dammit. So I kept going. Now all this time I kept saying I need a sign God give me a sign. Where should I go. Instead I had to cross the river yes its a river now! a third time, which required some trailblazing, but worked out.
So I'm walking (with a slight squishing sound) and reach a fork in the road. I decide to go right and wander up the hill a bit and see a sign: Private Property, No Trespassing. Ok fine I'll go the other way. I stopped for a second and went, wait? was that the sign I was looking for? No trespassing private property? Should I then not go the the rival private school but the public Ohio State? Then I was like NO! That's silly. Of course there are private property signs up in the mountains. People have cabins and whatnot. I keep going.
Now I'd wandered up for a while. I started saying OK just a little further cuz you have to go back to the teens. I was already well past my initial estimated return time. But I felt compelled to keep walking. Finally, I got to this clearing where I said OK this is where I stop. There was a great view of the cliffs ahead and the valley below. It was really pretty. I took out my phone and started taking pictures. As I meandered around the clearing, I noticed an old sign half under a tree. I though maybe it was a historical battle marker or something so I walked over to it. I kid you not, the first word I read on this old rusty sign was Ohio, clear as can be. All the other words were more rusted but I think it was like a pipeline marker or something. But it said Ohio. And we are definitely FAR from Ohio here. It was my sign. I knew it even though it terrified me to admit it and finally make a decision. As if to further confirm that God was in control here, I turned and saw a little tiny chipmunk, one of the few "common" animals I have never ever seen in the wild. Yea, I'm going to Ohio State.
OK that's enough writing and reading for one night. I took a picture of the sign if you want to see it. I officially accepted today, so things are going to start moving. I leave at the end of August. My staff and friends are sad to see me go, but its only for two years. Then I come back. I am most sad that it means Tenshi and I are going to be far apart. So we going to have to make these next few months really awesome! The weight of the decision hasn't fully set in, but I am sure its the one I need to make, even though I keep looking for excuses to change my mind. Ah well, Buckeyes it is!
Until then, back to Minneapolis! Goodnight!
-JTY
Reading: WPC (White Privilege Conference) Articles
Listening to: Muse- helped me drown out the spoiled child, bad mother, and screaming newborn on the plane today and actually nap. Ahh napping to rock music :)
Playing: Lead and Gold but I think I'm going back to Borderlands cuz we have new DLC.
OK! Sorry for the Wednesday update but I've been very very busy. Right now I'm writing this from Minneapolis where I can't sleep cuz I napped on the plane and finally have a chance to do so. I'm in Minneapolis because I'm at the White Privilege Conference. If you don't know what White Privilege is, well that's probably because you're white. A joke! Sorta. It's complicated to explain and its not my focus for tonight, but know that its a social justice conference that I hope does not turn into a white guilt conference.
Anyway! I have two stories to tell you about my misadventures this past weekend. First, though I have an update on Tenshi and Spotty Sister. For those of you who may not have heard, their father passed away this past week. He'd been battling cancer for the last few years, but his death was still unexpected and very sudden. It has been a difficult shock for both twins, their older, sister and mother, as well as their entire family. I've been over to her house pretty much every night the past week, trying to help as much as I can but the hardest thing is that there really isn't anything anyone can do. It just sucks.
That said, these women are some of the strongest people I know and I'm amazed at their perseverance, their positive attitude and their energy. In the Armenian culture as in many others, when someone dies, the entire family comes to visit the deceased's family. So the twins' home was like grand central station the past week, which is just draining. Try hosting a party every day for a week when you are emotionally exhausted, drained, and grieving. Yet these women did! It has been a privilege to be let into their family and help where I can, even if on the day of the funeral, most of the relatives thought I was the waiter. These things do happen :)
It is important to note that while the twins do appreciate sympathy, support, and thoughts and prayers, they also were getting an influx of messages on facebook, so that is probably not the best way to send your regards, like you do for peoples birthdays. If you haven't already, and you know them, maybe give them a call or text or a personal email or message. They appreciate the support and trust me, you're going to want to say "is there anything I can do." It's natural, its genuine, but its also silly. There's not a lot that can be done, just support and love.
On to happier things, better known as stupid moments with James. I have a series of them that occurred this past week. Then I will tell you about my college decision, I promise.
Stupid moment number 1: Tenshi told me to come to her house in all black. This was the first time I was going to meet most of her extended family. At a funeral. Yea, not good timing. As the only non-Armenian I was destined to stand out. However... I show up in dark blue jeans which were nice, a black tshirt and an American apparel track jacket. And flipflops. Yea, I didn't realize I was going to meet the family either. So I walked in and saw 15 people sitting around the room, silent, somber, and staring at me. I tried to smile, which was also foolish. I walked to the only empty seat, past all the other people, and sat there trying not to look white. Great first impression.
Stupid moment number 2: The day of the funeral, after everyone had left, I got up to go get something and accidentally knocked over the hooka sitting on a little table in the back room. I caught the hooka coals included which I promply dropped, and set it straight. But there was ash everywhere and one of the coals was slowly burning the area rug. So in other words, I burned their house on the day of a the funeral. Fail.
Finally we come to the gas and birds story. Here's the context:
So in the midst of this insane month that includes 3 twelve hour days at work, (last week 4! because it was admit day so I had to work until midnight) I went on a retreat. I volunteer at my church's Confirmation program, which works with HS freshmen and sophomores. We take them on a retreat. This time we went up north a bit to a more mountainous area to really get away. Due to my admit day responsibilities, I was unable to come until the next afternoon. The drive was going to be able 2 hours and I left with half a tank of gas, planning on fully filling up at the best of the mountain in the large, nearby city that houses on of our sister universities. So I'm driving and driving and right before the base of the hill where I'm going to stop and change highways, my friend Jabber Talky calls. If you recall, Jabber Talky likes to talk so usually I screen his calls unless I had time to do so. But I was driving alone so I figured I'd answer. So we're talking and talking- well he's talking and talking and I'm driving and driving and I notice that most cars had pulled off to the right but I didn't see any signs for the road I was looking for. I had a suspicion I should turn around but I figured I go a little further and see if I was wrong. If not, I'd turn around. So I keep going and notice my low fuel light is on. I go crap I need gas. So I see a sign that says the next town is a few miles ahead so I figure I'll go there and fill up. If the road I was looking for isnt there that's fine I'll just turn around. So I get to the town. Population: 100. Number of Gas stations: 0. I keep going seeing there's another town shortly further (closer than going back) and figure if this town didnt have gas the next one must. No gas. Now I'm worried, I've gone a long way and still no gas. (Jabber Talky is still going btw). I'm looking for those blue signs that say next stop fuel. Nothing. In fact that only thing I was seeing was no services no services. I cut the call short and pull over at a rest stop. I ask the half-deaf attendent whom I'm pretty sure just read my lips where the nearest gas was. 10 miles further. I did not have enough gas for 10 miles...
Long story short: I'm stuck at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere with no gas. I thought about walking the ten miles, but naturally the road curves into a tunnel with cliffs all around me. Its about 30 miles to go back. I decide to try to hitchhike. I look for people who I don't feel threatened by but also wouldn't feel threatened by me. Men traveling in groups. No. Woman traveling alone. No. Families. No. Older couples. Maybe... yes! Let's ask them. I could take them if they tried to jump me but there is two of them so they shouldn't be afraid of me right... This is how I was thinking. I sum of the courage (I hate asking for help) and ask a couple. They look at me like I'm crazy and say no. I lose my nerve and just sit there wishing someone I knew would magically stop at this rest stop.
Ultimately my retreat leader came to get me. We did the back and forth filling a gas can and getting me to the station. Then took a short cut through a strange town. There were windmills, on every third building. A statue of a viking, but like a comical viking out of How to Train Your Dragon style. And a random ostrich farm! I felt like I traveled through Africa and Amsterdam at the same time.
Oh and while I was waiting for my leader. The car next to me was also out of gas. AAA came and gave them 1 of the 2 gallons they carry on the car. Before I could ask to buy the second gallon, the tow truck driver said, oh, I'll just give you the second and you can pay me by filling it up. I watched my one chance at an easy solution drain away before my eyes. Fail.
OK last story, the one you've all been waiting for: my grad school decision. I need you to know that I've been torn between the private local rival school and Ohio State. For ease of sharing, they were equal choices each with strengths and weakness. Hence my hard hard hard decision. I will say to you, here and now that I have chosen Ohio State, after weeks of contemplation and one powerful moment at the retreat:
Normally Saturday night is the powerful retreat moment. We had adoration, which has always given me peace and clarity and I was hoping it would be there I made my decision. Instead, it was me fighting with God saying here no here no here! And ended with me frustrated and still unsure of where to go. The next morning, I woke the teens up and then said, hey I have an hour to kill, let's go walking up this back trail and see if I can find any deer or other wild life. I love seeing animals in the wild. So I start walking.
The path, CONVENIENTLY crosses the running creek as I go, so I come to the creek, step on a few stones and cross it. Naturally the path isn't straight but winds around the mountain. Winds right back to the creek too. So I have to cross it again. I have good balance, but I managed to slip and dunk my whole foot into the stupid creek. I'm going idiot now you're going to get blisters or athletes foot or leeches or something. I almost went back. I really did. But I felt compelled to keep walking. Like I had to clear my head and reach the end of the path. And see some animals dammit. So I kept going. Now all this time I kept saying I need a sign God give me a sign. Where should I go. Instead I had to cross the river yes its a river now! a third time, which required some trailblazing, but worked out.
So I'm walking (with a slight squishing sound) and reach a fork in the road. I decide to go right and wander up the hill a bit and see a sign: Private Property, No Trespassing. Ok fine I'll go the other way. I stopped for a second and went, wait? was that the sign I was looking for? No trespassing private property? Should I then not go the the rival private school but the public Ohio State? Then I was like NO! That's silly. Of course there are private property signs up in the mountains. People have cabins and whatnot. I keep going.
Now I'd wandered up for a while. I started saying OK just a little further cuz you have to go back to the teens. I was already well past my initial estimated return time. But I felt compelled to keep walking. Finally, I got to this clearing where I said OK this is where I stop. There was a great view of the cliffs ahead and the valley below. It was really pretty. I took out my phone and started taking pictures. As I meandered around the clearing, I noticed an old sign half under a tree. I though maybe it was a historical battle marker or something so I walked over to it. I kid you not, the first word I read on this old rusty sign was Ohio, clear as can be. All the other words were more rusted but I think it was like a pipeline marker or something. But it said Ohio. And we are definitely FAR from Ohio here. It was my sign. I knew it even though it terrified me to admit it and finally make a decision. As if to further confirm that God was in control here, I turned and saw a little tiny chipmunk, one of the few "common" animals I have never ever seen in the wild. Yea, I'm going to Ohio State.
OK that's enough writing and reading for one night. I took a picture of the sign if you want to see it. I officially accepted today, so things are going to start moving. I leave at the end of August. My staff and friends are sad to see me go, but its only for two years. Then I come back. I am most sad that it means Tenshi and I are going to be far apart. So we going to have to make these next few months really awesome! The weight of the decision hasn't fully set in, but I am sure its the one I need to make, even though I keep looking for excuses to change my mind. Ah well, Buckeyes it is!
Until then, back to Minneapolis! Goodnight!
-JTY
Reading: WPC (White Privilege Conference) Articles
Listening to: Muse- helped me drown out the spoiled child, bad mother, and screaming newborn on the plane today and actually nap. Ahh napping to rock music :)
Playing: Lead and Gold but I think I'm going back to Borderlands cuz we have new DLC.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Hand Talking
I purchased a set of buckyballs on woot.com and they have since arrived in the mail. If you do not know, Bucky Balls are a bunch of tiny magnetic balls that serve no particular purpose but are advertised as stress relief. You hold the mass of magnets in your hand and can squeeze them like a stress ball or form them into shapes like playdough. It makes for way more entertainment then a bunch of magnets should and I have found myself constantly playing with them, forming them into shapes and setting them up to reverse polarities and whatnot.
My staff and friends and even Tenshi have also taken great pleasure in my investment (they are a bit expensive) because I can tear a pile of magnets out and hand them to several people at once to play with. In short, I am constantly fidgeting with the magnets and this has had some interesting results.
I've known for years that I am a kinesthetic learner. For those of you not familiar, there are studies that say people have three different learning styles, audial, meaning they learn best from hearing things, visual, which means they learn best by seeing things, and kinesthetic which means they learn best by touching things. In the academic word, this is why a professor has powerpoint slides (visual) says things out loud (audial) and encourages you to take notes (kinesthetic). Since everyone has all three types (though some stronger than others) lessons like this address all learners.
I am very kinesthetic. I process information better if I have something in my hands that doesn't really require my mental attention but still gives me something to do. People say my hands have a mind of their own because I gesture wildly when I'm speaking and am known to usually talk with my hands. In interviews, this can be distracting, so I have to actively curb my descriptive motions. Otherwise, I can come off as flailing even if I think it helps make more points clearer. I think I've mentioned how my staff refers to my James Claws and it has become a type of meme for my team these days. The point being, buckyballs have given me something to do with my hands and I have seen direct improvement in my concentration on conversations and meetings, where sometimes my mind would wander because I'm not a very audial learner. I think its great and a wonderful self study, I just hope that buckyballs look professional and not rude when I make magnetic dinosaurs on my table during staff meetings ;) I promise I'm listening!!
I do have a quote from you that I heard today from Clark. To give you some context, Alejandro is back to staying with us for a bit, and he, Brock, Clark and I were catching up and swapping amusing stories. I brought up how sometimes Brock has secret lovers over for brief periods of passionate exchange. Often Brock will text us innocently asking when we would come home. In this specific occasion he had not texted me, only Clark. I began my story:
"I come home and stop in the entrance and go, 'Something in this apartment has changed'"
Without skipping a beat Clark whispers, "It's his sin sensor"
We all laugh. I go on to describe how I'll notice that the blinds have been closed or the coffee table has shifted or our giant stuffed bear looks particularly disheveled or some other specific addition. I can't help but make assumptions when I notice these changes, but I'm trying not to assume there are frequent unions in my living room. Sometimes, I just happen to be right. Keeps us on our toes I guess.
I don't think I have much in other news. I'm currently in the process of choosing a graduate school, which will determine my living location for this summer, so I guess the sad news is that by this years end I probably won't be living with Clark and Brock any more. The blog updates will keep coming, but I feel like I won't have as many funny stories for you. I'm going to have to find some other quirkies in my life that are comfortable with my sharing their business publicly. I also hope I never cross that line with Clark or especially Brock and Naysayer P Smith, whom I talk the most about. Imagine what I'm not telling you if I'm holding stuff back though :)
Goodnight for now!
Currently reading: Rediscovering Catholicism- all Lent long
Currently listening to: Alejandro play Dragon Age in the other room. On an unrelated note, should I buy a guitar? I am strongly considering it though I have absolutely zero musical talent.
Currently playing: Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West which is a simpler Team Fortress 2 with cowboys. Actually very very fun!
My staff and friends and even Tenshi have also taken great pleasure in my investment (they are a bit expensive) because I can tear a pile of magnets out and hand them to several people at once to play with. In short, I am constantly fidgeting with the magnets and this has had some interesting results.
I've known for years that I am a kinesthetic learner. For those of you not familiar, there are studies that say people have three different learning styles, audial, meaning they learn best from hearing things, visual, which means they learn best by seeing things, and kinesthetic which means they learn best by touching things. In the academic word, this is why a professor has powerpoint slides (visual) says things out loud (audial) and encourages you to take notes (kinesthetic). Since everyone has all three types (though some stronger than others) lessons like this address all learners.
I am very kinesthetic. I process information better if I have something in my hands that doesn't really require my mental attention but still gives me something to do. People say my hands have a mind of their own because I gesture wildly when I'm speaking and am known to usually talk with my hands. In interviews, this can be distracting, so I have to actively curb my descriptive motions. Otherwise, I can come off as flailing even if I think it helps make more points clearer. I think I've mentioned how my staff refers to my James Claws and it has become a type of meme for my team these days. The point being, buckyballs have given me something to do with my hands and I have seen direct improvement in my concentration on conversations and meetings, where sometimes my mind would wander because I'm not a very audial learner. I think its great and a wonderful self study, I just hope that buckyballs look professional and not rude when I make magnetic dinosaurs on my table during staff meetings ;) I promise I'm listening!!
I do have a quote from you that I heard today from Clark. To give you some context, Alejandro is back to staying with us for a bit, and he, Brock, Clark and I were catching up and swapping amusing stories. I brought up how sometimes Brock has secret lovers over for brief periods of passionate exchange. Often Brock will text us innocently asking when we would come home. In this specific occasion he had not texted me, only Clark. I began my story:
"I come home and stop in the entrance and go, 'Something in this apartment has changed'"
Without skipping a beat Clark whispers, "It's his sin sensor"
We all laugh. I go on to describe how I'll notice that the blinds have been closed or the coffee table has shifted or our giant stuffed bear looks particularly disheveled or some other specific addition. I can't help but make assumptions when I notice these changes, but I'm trying not to assume there are frequent unions in my living room. Sometimes, I just happen to be right. Keeps us on our toes I guess.
I don't think I have much in other news. I'm currently in the process of choosing a graduate school, which will determine my living location for this summer, so I guess the sad news is that by this years end I probably won't be living with Clark and Brock any more. The blog updates will keep coming, but I feel like I won't have as many funny stories for you. I'm going to have to find some other quirkies in my life that are comfortable with my sharing their business publicly. I also hope I never cross that line with Clark or especially Brock and Naysayer P Smith, whom I talk the most about. Imagine what I'm not telling you if I'm holding stuff back though :)
Goodnight for now!
Currently reading: Rediscovering Catholicism- all Lent long
Currently listening to: Alejandro play Dragon Age in the other room. On an unrelated note, should I buy a guitar? I am strongly considering it though I have absolutely zero musical talent.
Currently playing: Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West which is a simpler Team Fortress 2 with cowboys. Actually very very fun!
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